Looking for new writers and graphic designers!
Come to our meetings every Sunday night at 8:30pm 5th floor of Lerner (near the student
government office).
All are welcome.
Buy a T-Shirt
Do you love animals? Or sodomy? Then buy a Fed T-shirt!
About Us
We have a long and storied history. Learn more about us...
In This Issue
- I'm the Man in the Glass Box
- A Beginner's Guide to Smoking Cigarettes
- The Epic Drunken Email
- Letter From Some Dude
- 5 Easy Steps to Becoming a Barnard Girl
- The Cold, Harsh Reality that is SEAS
- Fun With Freshman Housing
- F.E.D.S. vs. The Fed
- First Year Friendships
- The Fed Guide to What's What: Points of Interest on Campus
- The Fed Guide to What's What: Where to Shop
- The Fed Guide to What's What: Where to Drink
- A Campus Club Wish List
- How to Win Friends and Alienate Your Parents
- Legalized Speed a Huge Hit in NYC
- Fed / Counterfed
- GLAAD vs. Kevin Smith
- Horoscopes
- News Briefs
- Wacky Fun Whitey
- THEY Watch
- The Staff of 17.1
THEY Watch
They Watch is a regular column in the Fed. It is here to serve you, the unsuspecting victim of the Man.
"When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly who they were. It was us vs. them, and it was clear who them was. Today, we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they're there."
George W. Bush
1. They loom over the CU publishing world with a smug satisfaction that can only come from endorsing the status quo. But let's face it, most of their "news" either comes from Reuters or is about Columbia athletics. At least we spell most of our words correctly. The Columbia Daily Spectator = They.
2. Damn Columbia students with better luck than me. You will all burn in the fiery pits of Hell. The 3,028 People Ahead of Me in the Housing Lottery Who Have Housing While I Don't = They.
3. First you weren't there, which was great. Then you were, but you sold beer, which was passable. Now you've replaced the beer with Odwalla bars. What the fuck is an Odwalla bar, and why isn't it my beer? Ferris Booth Commons = They.
4. You broke my heart, cause I couldn't dance. You didn't even want me around. But now I'm back, to let you know. I can really shake em down. Back-stabbing Cunt of an Ex-Girlfriend Who Can't Just Appreciate Me for my Inner Beauty = They.
5. You have arrived to claim your space as the most selective class in our school's history. But let's be realistic here. You've really arrived to sap our resources, take one of the nicest dorms and make the potential post-grad job market that much more competitive for the rest of us. You = They.