Looking for new writers and graphic designers!
Come to our meetings every Sunday night at 9:00pm 5th floor of Lerner (near the student
government office).
All are welcome.
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About Us
We have a long and storied history. Learn more about us...
In This Issue
- I Was a Social Whore
- GS Day Care Caters to Non-Traditional Infants
- Tips for Keeping Your Room Tidy and Your Roommate Pissed Off
- Letters to the Editor
- Letter from the Publisher
- Marauding Interviewer
- Go Ask ALICE!, She'll Make You Feel Sexy
- The Page Five Boy: Carter Adams, InstaCeleb
- Power Couples of the Sexy 107th Congress
- The Perfect Comfort Food for When Your Girl Back Home Dumps You
- Martha Stewart - Living?
- Fed Quiz: Find Your Perfect Columbia Mate
- Homeless Style = Hot
- Amihotenoughtogetlaidsoon orwhat.com
- Third Annual Fed Date Results In Tragedy
- Environmentally Conscious Martha
- JJ's Place: A New Home for Campus Discrimination
- Wacky Fun Whitey
- THEY Watch
- The Staff of 17.3
Homeless Style = Hot
Erica Jurgel
Martha Stewart is obnoxious; she comes to us every day in her unimaginative turtlenecks and sensible shoes, and I'm willing to bet her underwear and socks match. One can only take her patent brand of uber-perfectionism for so long. The NYC homeless have found an alternative with their "fuck your 'I-just-showered' fashion standards" attitude and gutsy blend of stripes, plaids, and stains. So when you tire of constantly having to re-upholster your toilet seat (you do, don't you?), take a look at this list and think of updating your lifestyle.
|
Out |
Jigga-Wha |
In |
|
Perfect pale pink |
Manicure |
NYC sewer grime rubbed into all cracks and crevices - extremely moisturizing and nourishing |
|
Dewy, fresh, and natural |
Makeup |
NYC sewer grime – perfect to create the latest "smoky eye" look |
|
Deodorant-fresh |
Body Odor |
Au naturel; delightfully musky |
|
1 outfit at a time |
Approach to Fashion |
As many pairs of anything and everything you can find, all at once |
|
Perfectly coiffed by a team of professionals |
Hairstyle |
Perfectly coiffed by a team of rats and insects |
|
Classic diamond studs |
Accessory |
hopping Cart filled with cans to match the ensemble |
|
Roast lamb with a delicate fennel-mint sauce, puree of potato, and radish rosettes |
Meal |
Roast squirrel |
|
Powder-puff pooch |
Pet |
Dust bunny |
|
Christopher Lowell’s "Fast and Fabulous Home Decorating" |
Instructional Video |
Trading Places |
|
Thinking you’re better than God |
God-Complex |
Thinking you are God |
|
"With some sponge painting, decoupaging, and antiquing, this would make a great armoire!"
|
When you see a box you think… |
"With some pizza crusts – HOME!" |
|
"It’s a good thing." |
Annoying Catch-Phrase |
"20-dollah: GOOD TIME!" |