• Join The Fed
• Advertise with The Fed

• About Us
• Contact

In This Issue

• Jesus Spams
• Lifelong Lepers Supported
• A Porn Star Is Born
• Letters to the Editor
• My God Is Pissed
• An Interview with Daniel Radcliffe
• You Know, I Just Don’t Care About Floor Spirit
• Start Your Own Religion, in Four Easy Steps
• Flogging the Bishop
• Ask Professor Pete
• News Briefs
• Horoscopes: Like listening to a very senile Ben Franklin
• Drive-By Circumcision
• Columbia Student Is Next Plato, Columbia Student Claims
• Sin Big, Sin Real Big
• Top Ten Things That Make the Baby Jesus Cry
• CU’s Admissions vs. St. Peter’s
• Now Playing in Selected Cities
• God By Way of Drugs
• Jesus Saves A Buck
• Available at all Gentleman’s Daugerrotype Parlors
• CC Student Sees Shit While Shrooming
• THEY Watch
• The Staff of 17.5

A gorilla, a dominatrix, and some underage drinking. That’s what we call a bash. Thanks to everyone who came out for the second Fed Bash. It was a spanking good time. The 2 Skinnee J’s put on a great show, and were thus compensated with a few Fed staffers to take home.

The Staff of 17.5

Board of Editors
editor-in-chief
meghan keane
publisher
edward ehrbar
head submissions editor
paul campion
managing editor
ted scharff

Associate Board
noah luck easterly
liz gorinsky
jail gee run
jeff harris
tobin manackal
jacob mermelstein
amy phillips
ian sullivan
kate sullivan

Contributors
carter adams
steven attewell
ivan brunetti
rachel feinmark
ethan heitner
jeff henretig
katie herman
mike ilardi
erik moser
michael noble
matt o'hanlon
katie o'shea
david sauvage
YSD
jeremy steele
mark touhy

Thanks to
that lovin' feeling
my complex
my generation
my lawn


*we've hidden an indulgence somewhere in this issue. Can you find it?

Any misspelling, grammatical faux pas, or other ‘mistakes' are intentional: they were left in for effect, and if that's not obvious to you, you're just not getting it. The Fed treats non-responses as affirmatives. We reserve the right to edit submissions for length and clarity. The opinions expressed herein are not neccesarily the views of the Fed. The views of the Fed are as follows:

1. Hard nipples in December doesn't necessarily mean that she likes you.
2. It doesn't mean that I like you either.
3. You better watch yourself. We're wanted men.
4. We have the death sentence in twelve systems, you know.

The Fed is a forum; views expressed in individual articles are those of the author and do not necessarily speak for anyone else affiliated with the paper.