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Come to our meetings every Sunday night at 8:30pm 5th floor of Lerner (near the student
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All are welcome.
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About Us
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In This Issue
- The Spec Almost Led Me Into White Slavery
- Where Have All the Strippers Gone?
- Abused by Geriatrics Without Prozac
- Letters to the Editor(s)
- Marauding Interviewer
- Free to Speak? Shut Up!
- Where It's Safe to Sodomize
- Unionized Columbians Become Denizens of Primal Gangland
- CAVA Shifts Focus from Medicine to Profitability
- Garment Grabber Liberates Clothes From Floor
- Legless Pigeon Recounts Tales of Early Abuse
- Geek has +9 Indifference Cloak Against Discrimination
- Columbia Hits Me Where the Bruises Will Never Show
- We Have a Film Critic?
- The Future Is Now, and It's Pointing and Laughing
- Juice Review - A Mango Juice Odyssey
- Fed Favorites
- I Hate You Damn Happy People
- Your Pets Will Be Waiting for You in Hell
- Fruitloop and Dandy
- Wacky Fun Abuse!
- My AIM is True
- A Word from Our Advertisers
- THEY Watch
- The Staff of 17.7
The Future Is Now, and It's Pointing and Laughing
Meghan Keane
Aries
You are an outstanding piece of ass, Aries, my friend. Don'tlet your grating, finger-nails-on-the-blackboard presonality hold you back from the throes of hot monkey sex.
Taurus
Your life is much better than that of the people who try to bring you down. But that's not saying much.
Gemini
Do you remember the time when we fell in love? Do you remember the time that we first met? Well, Gemini, start forgetting.
Cancer
I see exotic beauty in your future, Cancer. But I might just mean Black Russians, Sex on the Beach, and Margaritas.
Leo
You, chumly, are about as self-sufficient as a Brown Bar-ba-loot, and you'll probably get crummy because you have gas, and no food in your tummy!
Virgo
Virgo, you are the ultimate weapon against athlete's foot.
Libra
Your new found self-esteem will fall tragically short this summer when you move back in with your parents and learn that you have not matured, and, indeed, you're just as much of an asshole as you were in high school.
Scorpio
I predict your life will begin to to resemble the later career of Paul McCartney -- in that you'll be married to a monoped.
Sagitarius
Your career will go the way of eighties comeback queen Tiffany's. I look forward to seeing you naked in Playboy.
Capricorn
Your first trip to the West End will be even more disappointing then you thought, when you go home alone after several unsuccessful attempts to pick up barnacles.
Aquarius
It's about time you washed your pillow, Aquarius.
Pisces
This month, you will continue to impress other people whether or not you try. Unfortunately, it will be due to your stupidity, earning you the nickname "jack-off," which you will typically misinterpret as positive.