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In This Issue
- How to Hold on to Your Honey
- Gerald Jackson is Simply Fabulous
- Kid Gets 'F' for 'Fat' on Report Card
- Letters to the Editor(s)
- Glam Faux Pas on College Walk
- Cap'n Crunch = Pervert
- Frugal Gourmet goes Glam; Glitter is Cheap
- Screw the Superbowl! The World is Next!
- 50 Mindblowing Tips for Pleasing your She-male
- Necessary Knowledge for Proper Tape-Mixing
- Gone Society Whorin'
- There is No Message
- GLAM! Makeovers by the Fed Fashionista
- Whoroscopes for the Broken-Hearted
- Disturbing Lack of Glam on Campus
- Newsbriefs
- Prince reveals all, pulls pants back up
There is No Message
Yvan eht noij, yvan eht noij
Mike Noble
Iron Maiden - "Number of the Beast" slowed down
"...always remember... to brush your teeth... and WORSHIP SATAN..."
The Beatles - "Revolution #9" played in 6/8 time
"...Paul is dead... Paul is dead... but why couldn't it have been Ringo? I mean, he hasn't been useful since he came up with "A Hard Day's Night"... Oh well, time to go get some old Japanese ass..."
Raffi - "Apples and Bananas"
"...it's peanut butter jelly time!"
Slayer - "Raining Blood" (sped up)
"bananas... in pajamas... are coming down the stairs..."
Britney Spears - "You Drive Me Crazy" (slowed down)
"I may not always love you... But long as there are stars above you... You never need to doubt it... I'll make you so sure about it...God only knows what I'd be without you..."
Peter, Paul, and Mary - "Puff the Magic Dragon"
"...kill your parents...rape your dog...snort crack... vote Republican..."
Judas Priest - "Breaking the Law"
"...how to make Australian Toaster Biscuits... very much like English crumpets... don't worry if you don't have crumpet rings... you can make your own with a little aluminum foil and good old fashioned ingenuity..."
Limp Bizkit - "Break Stuff"
"...sell your soul to Satan... no really, if I get at least a hundred billion of you to sell your souls, I get mine back!"
Eminem - "Stan"
"...help me! I'm trapped! It was just an act, but now I can't stop! I just want to wear capri pants and sing show tunes!"
Rush - "Closer to the Heart"
"...I'm really a woman... I mean, I've got long hair and a really high voice... why does everyone assume I must be a guy?"
Radiohead - "Everything In Its Right Place"
"...My house has two pools, a game room, a sauna and a petting zoo. I've also got three Range Rovers. Thanks, kids!"