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In This Issue
- How to Hold on to Your Honey
- Gerald Jackson is Simply Fabulous
- Kid Gets 'F' for 'Fat' on Report Card
- Letters to the Editor(s)
- Glam Faux Pas on College Walk
- Cap'n Crunch = Pervert
- Frugal Gourmet goes Glam; Glitter is Cheap
- Screw the Superbowl! The World is Next!
- 50 Mindblowing Tips for Pleasing your She-male
- Necessary Knowledge for Proper Tape-Mixing
- Gone Society Whorin'
- There is No Message
- GLAM! Makeovers by the Fed Fashionista
- Whoroscopes for the Broken-Hearted
- Disturbing Lack of Glam on Campus
- Newsbriefs
- Prince reveals all, pulls pants back up
Cap'n Crunch = Pervert
Tyler Jagel
Tony Birkin, a.k.a. Cap'n Crunch, was arrested Tuesday for indecent exposure while performing at a children's birthday party. According to Cynthia Hardy, the child's mother, Birkin arrived around 1p.m. Tuesday afternoon and was visibly intoxicated.
"The children were horrified. [Birkin] kept screaming things like, ‘The Captain's wasted!' and ‘Hey kids, want to see my Crunch Berries?' It was horrifying," Hardy told the police.
Birkin is best known as the cereal mascot "Cap'n Crunch" and can be seen around the world on cereal boxes and in television commercials.
Officer Rodney Vance was the first on the scene: "Mr. Birkin had removed all of his clothing except for his large blue hat and was stumbling around saying, ‘These crunch berries don't get soggy.'" Vance added, "It's a tragedy really. I used to eat ‘Cap'n Crunch' every morning--I looked up to the Captain. He was my hero when I was a kid."
It is still unclear as to why Mr. Birkin removed his clothing. If convicted, Birkin faces up to a year in prison and a $5,000 fine. This is the third setback for cereal mascots in as many months. Two months ago Tony the Tiger was busted for DUI and just last month Count Chocula was arrested for mail fraud.