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In This Issue

• Me So Lonely
• Premature Ejaculation: a Way of Life
• We Get Letters
• Fringes on the Jacket of Humanity
• The Fed Guide to What's What: Points of Interest on Campus
• A Whine-free Welcome
• Columbia Eateries of a Bygone Era, Revived 4 U
• Facebook Travesty Claims Your Social Life
• 30 Things To Do Before You Graduate
• Tips for Keeping Your Room Tidy and Your Roommate Pissed Off
• Quick and Dirty Guide to Campus Bars
• Some Loser Has To Do It - Might As Well Be You
• Attack of the Killer Blowjob
• A Guide for Beginner's to Smoking Cigarettes
• There Is Life After College
• From Yesteryear's Freshmen

All it took was a libelous, totally fake interview with "Harry Potter" star Daniel Radcliffe

A Polite Request

Hey Fed,

I can't believe that the stuff in this interview is really true. Is Dan really that kind of wild boy?? 'Cause many newspapers and magasins write other things, that tell you Dan isn't this kind of boy you describe in the interview. Man, he's just twelve!!! Not the age with cigarettes, wild partys and chicks. Sure not! So: Is this a false interview?? I believe that. Maybe Dan was on some partys. But it's unbelievable that he really do all this stuff. If this interview is really true, you mustn't change it. But if it's

false, please change it!!! It would be very nice from you...

Sincere C.

PS: I'm a german girl, so you sure can understand why I'm speaking English not very well.

An Incredulous Dane

Hi Fed,

Is this interview really, really true??? I can't believe that. You can read in all kind of magasins a lot about Dan. And he's sure not the boy you

describe in the interview. So I would like to know if you're just a very big liar or if you really write true things. But I will write now some things about him I've read.

1. Very shy

2. Not interested in girls

3. Sure not a partyboy

And last but not least he's just twelve.

You describe him in the interview, that he's the other way round. So, is this interview just a piece of shit?? Please write back. It would be very nice from you.

 

Yours, Lizzy

A Deep Thinker

what are you talking about! Daniel does not talk that! If you wanna fake him, make sure you make it right, First daniel is a gentlemen, whats up with all the cussing and the women. You are totally grossing me out. What a fake!

A Lousy Speller

Hi... um where should i start... u kno that subversive news paper thing u have? it's POINTLESS. seriously, it's all bullshit. nothin to argue hhere cuz it's nothing, plain piece of crap- it's funny how it's all a big joke, i'm wondering how i aint laughing. do u even have a favourite? it seems like u hate a lotta stuff huh..why won't u get a life and find something to like and not to just make fun of. theres only one chance of living a life, so get one b4 its 2 late.

A Holy Roller

what IS YOUR PROBLEM?!† Are you jealous of Daniel or something.† There are ways† you can get into serious trouble! I've already wrote to Daniel and told him about your littler web page, so don't think he doesn't know!

†

†††††††††††† Get a life,

†††††††††††††††††††††††††††† ???? figure it out yourself????

A Crack Smoker

Hi,

Ummmm.....Ummmmmm.......What the hell is your deal, man? I have my peace and you have yours, but you sometimes shake it up! OK, now I go away.