• Join The Fed
• Advertise with The Fed

• About Us
• Contact

In This Issue

• Attacking Evil At Its Root
• Starbucks Gets New Badass Logo
• My Drunken Attempt to Thwart War
• Letters to the Editor
• Sexy Underwear Failed to Solve My Problems
• Democrats and Witchcraft, Proper Bedfellows
• AIM is the Tool of the Devil
• AIM is the Tool of the Pedophile
• Columbia Card Helped Me Sin With the Pros
• Is There Enough Satan In Your Life?
• God's Own Country: Florida
• Predictions for 2003, Withheld No More
• At Last: God Comix for Muslims 'n' Bikers
• My Very First Gun Show Sans Hangover
• Celebrities Bulldoze the Darndest Things
• On Finding Macho Yet Delicious Alcohol
• Angry Cell Phone Guy's Secret Identity Revealed
• The Staff
• They Watch
• Wacky, Fun! Whitey?
• A Message for this Election Cycle
• Sniperman!

Someone's been snooping around the Fed's online archives

Re: Issue 16.7

Hey when did you go to TRL? (I went there too outside before) By the way, Carson is not ugly!!!!!! He waved at me w/ my huge We <3 U Carson sign, and he was even more fabulous looking in person! How could you say that!?? He is sooo hot and adorable w/ absolutely gorgeous blue eyes! and he's just the sweetest, nicest guy!

Lassie88@aol.com

 

And all this time, we thought it stood for Future Fatties of America

To the editors:

I felt bad that you didn't get any real letters (although I very much enjoyed the mail-room shennigans), so here I am taking time out of my busy life (read: procratinating) to drop you a note. I loved Katie Herman's article about inane student clubs, but I thought she might like to know a bit about the "Most Confusing Group." If I'm not mistaken, FFA stands for "Future Farmers of America." I know this from reading my dad's old high school yearbooks (I'm from southern Minnesota). Judging from the size of

the groups in the books, and the list of activities they did, I think it was actually a pretty prominent (and maybe even 'prestigious') national organization, back in the 1950s and 60s--when still a very high percentage of Americans were rural and/or farmers. I don't know much about it besides that though, since my dad was not a member.

The FFA seemed to be comprised entirely of male members, but for the girls, there was an equally large group called "Future Homemakers of America." Now there's one for you! They probably learned how to bake cookies and practiced hemming dresses. Well, at least they didn't just sit around eating pizza and discussing whether it was 'partly sunny' or 'mostly cloudy' outside... Anyway, in North Carolina, FFA is probably still pretty legit.

Sincerely,

Michaella Holden

BC, '03

 

Katie-

After reading your article in the Fed, i thought i would write to clear something up. I grew up in South Dakota where both FFA and TAR had a strong followings- Future Farmers of America and Teenage Republicans. Although I think FFA is trying to claim that the acronym no longer represents that, but they've kept the letters as a sort of figurehead. Do not be mistaken--it's still composed solely of hicks whose National Convention includes a pilgrimage to Louisville. Probably more than you wanted to know, but whatever.

suzy

 

This guy is keeping us safe. Scary?

Fed,

I'm a US Army soldier who (unless I'm deployed to Iraq for who knows how long) will be completing my enlistment in the Spring of 2004. I'll be returning to school and I'm considering applying to Columbia's School of General Studies. In an effort to get a feel for the type of students at Columbia, I've been reading through your paper's archives. However, the only references I've come across concerning GS students are derogatory. Your articles depict them as ancient, unfocused, slackers. The blind kid even called for their removal. If I were to enter Columbia through GS, should I expect to receive such a welcome? Basically what I'm asking is, what's your take on the GS students?

SPC Matthew Kesti

 

Matthew,

We don't really have a "take" on GS students, per se, But don't let the derogatory references fool you. We at the Fed make it a point to mock everyone in an equal and fair fashion. It's really the only way to go. You see, we are primarily a humor paper, and we've found that saying nice things about people just doesn't make anyone laugh.

However, please do not take the content in the Fed as any indicator of the climate on campus. We are primarily meant as entertainment. I assure you, there is no over-arching plot to alientate GS students, although I wouldn't go so far as to say that the CC kids just love 'em. I myself am a senior in GS, and our previous editor-in-chief was a GS student. So when you get to Columbia, if you find yourself feeling alienated and persecuted simply because you are a GS student, just remember that there is always a home for you at the Fed.

Edward Ehrbar

Publisher