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About Us
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In This Issue
- Attacking Evil At Its Root
- Starbucks Gets New Badass Logo
- My Drunken Attempt to Thwart War
- Letters to the Editor
- Sexy Underwear Failed to Solve My Problems
- Democrats and Witchcraft, Proper Bedfellows
- AIM is the Tool of the Devil
- AIM is the Tool of the Pedophile
- Columbia Card Helped Me Sin With the Pros
- Is There Enough Satan In Your Life?
- God's Own Country: Florida
- Predictions for 2003, Withheld No More
- At Last: God Comix for Muslims 'n' Bikers
- My Very First Gun Show Sans Hangover
- Celebrities Bulldoze the Darndest Things
- On Finding Macho Yet Delicious Alcohol
- Angry Cell Phone Guy's Secret Identity Revealed
- The Staff
- They Watch
- Wacky, Fun! Whitey?
- A Message for this Election Cycle
- Sniperman!
They Watch
Je suis le They.
1. It's just not fair. We live off campus--just as far as these girls. But we have to pay for cable and internet. And now we don't get a free Metrocard, despite doing URH a favor by relieving an overcrowded situation. We're afraid of getting raped, too, you know. Off-campus Barnard Girls Getting All the Perks = THEY!
2. Freshman class elections had record turn out this year. So did sorority recruitment. People actually spend huge amounts of money on their Columbia sweatshirts, as if to proove to the world how snotty they are. Look, kids, it's quite simple: Earnest, Sincere School Spirit = THEY!
3. Rents in this city are disgusting, and the guy's just looking for a warm bed. He paid his money. Leave him alone. Columbia's the worst landlord since Furley. The Owner of Sedutto's Getting in Trouble for Squatting in his Storefront = THEY!
4. Goddamn if we didn't think of it first. When we first happened upon the little event, it seemed for a second to actually be an obnoxious stunt that this paper didn't know about. The sincere intentions of the organizers made it all the more frustrating. Barnyard at Barnard = THEY!