Looking for new writers and graphic designers!
Come to our meetings every Sunday night at 9:00pm 5th floor of Lerner (near the student
government office).
All are welcome.
Buy a T-Shirt
Do you love animals? Or sodomy? Then buy a Fed T-shirt!
About Us
We have a long and storied history. Learn more about us...
In This Issue
- Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend
- Crazy Pill-Popping Cult Lives On
- A Brief History of the Apocalypse
- Letters to the Editor
- The Newest Ball-Suckin' Tea Craze
- Young Lady Changes Sex, Founds Frat-nerd-ity
- Columbiatron Chatbot Advises For Success
- Reasons Why Those Two Seniors Got Caught Cheating on the GREs
- DVD Features Will Make This World a Better Place
- Thousand-Foot Monsters "Battel" for the Future
- Duuhnuh.... Duuhnuh... Dunudunu... SHARKWALK!
- Dean Quigley: Oracle, Comedian, Swell Guy
- Jesus Freaky Christ and His Many Dopplegangers
- I Done Mediocre
- Future's A-Gonna Be Swell
- Sports Riots Portend Downfall of All Mankind
- The Four Stages of Zombification
- Super Novi Bros.
- Wacky Fun Whitey
- Now With Added Filler!
- The Staff of 18.5
- THEY Watch
Reasons Why Those Two Seniors Got Caught Cheating on the GREs
Yes, we've all heard about those two guys who were nailed with thousands and thousands of dollars worth of electronic equipment in an attempt to...well, no one really knows for sure. All we can say for certain was that they were caught for a whole myriad of hysterical reasons, which escape us right now. Instead, we present these:
Told entire plan half-way through test in attempt to impress hot proctor.
Escorted selves to testing room, momentarily forgetting "blindness" disability
Intermittent shouts of "testing, testing" probably not really meant as reminder that the GRE test was underway.
Stoutly refused to sign honor statement.
Writing sample a transcript of program from powerful radio station.
Constantly giving "thumbs-up" to nondescript vehicle parked nearby.
Claimed that repeatedly saying, "what do you mean you can't read the picture that I just took of this computer screen?" was due to undiagnosed Tourette's which also requires private testing room.
Discovered to have no affiliation with Dan Aykroyd or any other Sneakers, thus rendering claim of "searching for security breeches" invalid.
Would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling kids.