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In This Issue

• Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend
• Crazy Pill-Popping Cult Lives On
• A Brief History of the Apocalypse
• Letters to the Editor
• The Newest Ball-Suckin' Tea Craze
• Young Lady Changes Sex, Founds Frat-nerd-ity
• Columbiatron Chatbot Advises For Success
• Reasons Why Those Two Seniors Got Caught Cheating on the GREs
• DVD Features Will Make This World a Better Place
• Thousand-Foot Monsters "Battel" for the Future
• Duuhnuh.... Duuhnuh... Dunudunu... SHARKWALK!
• Dean Quigley: Oracle, Comedian, Swell Guy
• Jesus Freaky Christ and His Many Dopplegangers
• I Done Mediocre
• Future's A-Gonna Be Swell
• Sports Riots Portend Downfall of All Mankind
• The Four Stages of Zombification
• Super Novi Bros.
• Wacky Fun Whitey
• Now With Added Filler!
• The Staff of 18.5
• THEY Watch

About two weeks ago, I was forced to endure the horror that is the Metropolitan Museum of Art for my Art Hum class. Up until that point, I had always referred to the Met as an "Art-Ghetto," as it had four walls that effectively separated the art from me. However, faced with no other options, I now had no choice but to go and look at art, and quite frankly, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. While I still don't know anything about art or beauty, I can honestly say that I have gained an appreciation for the artists themselves and their sense of humor concerning their religion and, in particular, baby Jesus. Just take a look at these gems, and you'll realize what I did- Jesus wasn't sent here to give us the willies, but to give us a chuckle.