Looking for new writers and graphic designers!
Come to our meetings every Sunday night at 9:00pm 5th floor of Lerner (near the student
government office).
All are welcome.
Buy a T-Shirt
Do you love animals? Or sodomy? Then buy a Fed T-shirt!
About Us
We have a long and storied history. Learn more about us...
In This Issue
- Abortions: Fun for the Whole Family!
- ROLM Phones Get SEAS Losers Laid
- Drunk Girls Ogle Dead Presidents
- Letters to the Feditor
- ESPN Fills Aching Void... With Sports!
- The Fed Announces Appointment of New Editor in Chief
- Astronauts Astro-Rock
- Fascists Hate Smokers
- Jungle Love, Courtesy of Local "Commie Kikes"
- Boxed Wine
- Nerd Elves Play with Each Other, Nerf Crotch-Bats
- Thinspiration: Looking for Militant Anorexic Love
- Militant Breastfeeding Cult No RateMyRack.com
- Our Militant Roots: A Federalist Article from '87
- Would you like to hear Jerry Falwell's Penis Talk?
- Barnard Girl Speaks... But Who Listens to Those Stupid Broads?
- Perfect Strangers: The Bond That Ties
- Whoroscopes: I See My Future in Your Pants
- Fight for Your Beliefs
- Wacky Fun Whitey with a Mission
- THEY Watch
- The Staff of 18.6
Jungle Love, Courtesy of Local "Commie Kikes"
Katie Herman
Leading conservative activist organizations have shown growing concern about the prominence of "love groups" in America. While these dangerous groups do not use the term "love group" themselves, conservative commentators have identified a number of prominent organizations as part of the growing love group movement. These groups can be recognized by the common pernicious goal of making everyone love everyone else. A danger of this sort has not threatened America since the terrifying heyday of the hugalicious dinosaur, Barney.
"Love Groups Cause the Hate They Decry," proclaims the headline of an article by Founders' America, published on the website of the United Knights of the Ku Klux Klan (http://www.unitedknights.org/Love_Groups.html). "Leftist love groups foment evil -- not love," the article states. "They are Marxist/socialist/feminists who knowingly work for the destruction of America's founding race and culture of white civil society." Scary shit.
While little information about the organization Founders' America can be found online, with a name like that, one might presume that it consists of a group of wizened Revolutionary War veterans still surviving somewhere in suburbia thanks to their superior Aryan genes. Their basic ideological stance, though, can be gathered from their blogspot website (http://foundersamerica.blogspot.com). Here, they explain that the left side of the brain, the logical half, is connected to the right side of the body and, surprisingly enough, right-wing politics, due to the wacky eternal hidden mysteries of God. This side of the brain is associated with things such as the NRA, anti-abortionists, pre-sixties America, the Republican Party, rural dwellers, children raised in two parent families, and men. It's such sound logical thinkers as these who are being threatened by the proliferation of dangerous leftist love groups (those dominated by the emotional right brain, associated with such menaces as women, artists, the Dark Ages, and Jimmy Carter).
According to the information provided in the Founders' America article, along with reports from other conservative organizations, the domestic threat of leftist love groups seems to be a danger of epic magnitude, equal with the threat of terrorism from abroad! Founders' America reports that love groups have "brought human slaughterhouses [AKA: pro-choice clinics] to every city" in America, and that they try to foment pedophilia through the active support of homosexuals. An "Aryan Update" posted on the website of the White Aryan Resistance organization claims that these love groups have become so prominent that they have even formed a "love community" or a "'loves dat divershitty' community," which loves "murder, rape, child molestation, robbery, gang war, white collar crime" (http://www.resist.com/updates/11.12.00aryanupdate.htm). That's what happens when you love everything equally, you sick fucks.
"Today you are a thousand more times likely to be killed or raped by a love community citizen than a hate community citizen," the Aryan Update reports. Not only do they carry out random acts of violence, but the love community runs an organization of "dreaded thought police," the site claims. In case you are abducted by these thought police, the White Aryan Resistance warns "You will be isolated usually in a small room and politely told that you must immigrate back to the love community. If you confess your sin of loving your race you may be . . . given a reduced sentence in a love styled prison that is complete with Negro's who anxiously await the opportunity to show you their version of jungle love. Just hold up your right hand and vow, I SWEAR TO DESPISE MY RACE AND CO-OPERATE IN IT'S DESTRUCTION SO HELP JESSE JACKSON."
The Wolfe Report, a self-proclaimed "Counter-Biased Newsletter," relates that "extreme left-wing love groups" routinely burn forestry offices and bomb forestry vehicles. Their membership is made up of such dangerous characters as "Al Gore's soul-brother, Ted Kacynski." But alarmingly, the Wolfe Report claims that militant acts of violence by these love groups often pass with little notice. (http://www.involved.com/ewolfe/distress/WR-01-02.HTM)
To help protect the public against the great threat posed by love groups, Founders' America and the Aryan Update warn good Americans to be on the look out for such love organizations as the ACLU, the Anti-Defamation League ("That super LOVE THY LOCAL KIKE group" whose motto is apparently "all people are equal except KIKES are more equal than others"), Planned Parenthood, and the American Psychological Association. These "Marxist/socialist/feminists" are carrying out "a GENOCIDAL attempt to MONGRELIZE the white race," Founders' America reports. Be on the look out, or you could be mongrelized next.
