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don't say we didn't warn you
Issue 18.6: militant
Posted: February 10, 2003

Thinspiration: Looking for Militant Anorexic Love

Carter Adams

There's been a growing controversy of late regarding the trend of pro-eating disorder websites. In opposition to treatment and counseling efforts, these militant pro-anorexia and pro-bulimia sites give a forum for their predominantly teenage female audience to brag about their low weights, swap tips on eating, exercise, and vomiting techniques, and share really awful poetry and art. Defenders of the sites claim protection under free speech, and I'd like to add my voice of support to the "pro-ana community" because man, there just ain't nothing hotter than a sixty pound sixteen-year-old. Those hipbones, the complete lack of breasts and ass, the pencil-thin arms and knobby elbows, the sunken eyes and hour glass-shaped head... Jesus! I'm getting hard typing this.

"Say it loud, I'm Anorexic and I'm Proud!" boasts one site. And I say, "You go girl." As Hollywood and Madison Avenue have told us again and again, it's every man's dream to fuck something tiny and under his control, and there's little easier to dominate than a teenager who's so emaciated she can barely stand. Plus, even if she hasn't starved herself to medical emergency yet, she certainly won't have the self-esteem to resist my advances. She'll probably be so desperate for affection and compliments that she'll be my veritable slave. OK, I'm gonna find myself the perfect woman.

So I fire up Google, locate www.ana-by-choice.com, follow a few links, and find some message boards. Oh wow! These girls are making it so fucking easy for me. Most of their profiles list age, height, and weight. Hmmmm... well, right off the bat, two-thirds of these chicks get eliminated for being Pete Townsend-bait. I support you, girls, starve early, starve often, but I'm going for at least legal-in-Canada here. But, among all the middle-schoolers, there still are a few promising candidates. How to choose?

We'll, since she'll probably lack the stamina for constant screwin', we might have to actually engage in conversation, but if the profiles of these girls are any indication of personality, then I'm afraid I'm looking at a pool of seriously bad dates. They seem to be able to express themselves in only two ways: Nirvana quotes, and "thinspirational" messages cribbed from other websites: "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." "Hunger hurts, but starvation works." "I'm not starving myself. I'm perfecting my emptiness." And rather bluntly, "If you are not thin, you are not attractive." Hey, listen, I'm totally cool with you starving yourself to look like a fashion model, but you're going to have to talk about something else when we're going out and I'm eating in front of you. Looking for any hint of personality, I turn to the message board's poetry section.

"Dear Ana / Bounded by your poison / As you slither through my vanes [sic]..." Ugh. And that isn't even the worst example. There's no way I could spend even five minutes with one of these girls. Get treatment and get fat again for all I care. And do I really want to make out with a bulimic? So my quest for the idea easy lay is at an end.

Or is it? Maybe I just set my sights too low. I've got to get me the real thing. I've got to get with a celebrity. Hmmm... but look at the men they're with. Those actors, models, and rock stars. They're so thin and cut. God damn, look at me, did I pick that spare tire up over Christmas? Hey this web page says if I just eat radishes and sugarfree candy for 21 days, I could be a GAP ad by spring break. Ok, now just think thin. I am confident and in control. And remember, Carter, it's not a disease; it's a lifestyle choice.