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In This Issue

• Fat Virgin Screws Microsoft
• Fed Talks with Corporate Stooge
• Letters to the Feditor!
• Dirty Terrorists Go Too Far: Now It's Personal
• LilAmber.com: Legal Child Porn for the Masses
• Fed Fun Guide: How Not To Make A Bomb
• Shivering Shit Machines Progeny of Actress Ricci
• The SHIT
• Bollinger: Mixing Business with Leather
• Lashed & Leashed at CV
• 14 Year Olds Do It Best!
• Remember Sept 27th
• Girl of Petite Race Likes Small Place
• The Staff of 19.1

Do not seal dry ice in a pressurized container.

Do not get gunpowder from model rocket engines.

Do not play with ammonium nitrate. Ever.

Do not extract ammonium nitrate from fertilizer.

Do not mix calcium carbide and water. If you did that, you would produce gaseous acetylene, which is very flammable, and very bad. You can avoid making calcium carbine by not heating a mixture of lime and calcium to about 2100 degrees celsius.

Do not make nitroglycerine. Do this by not introducing glycerin into a body of nitric acid at a temperature below 10 degrees celsius. This is a very bad idea.

 Do not create flash powder using potassim perchlorate and aluminum powder (you should also not consider adding barium nitrate or sulfur to this mixture that you should not make).

Do not harvest magnesium oxide from alkaline batteries and mix it with hydrogen peroxide, it’ll explode.

Do not pack two hemispherical portions of plutonium-239 (at least 10 pounds worth) in hundreds of pounds of TNT. This is an atomic bomb and it is bad for you.

Do not mix equal parts of chlorate and household sugar. When pressurized, this substance could blow your arm off.

Do not boil drug store iodine over an open flame in a metal container while holding a container of ice over the iodine. If you don’t do this, you won’t make iodine crystals, which you won’t have to use in explosives or meth.

Do not fill a tennis ball with strike-anywhere type match heads. Such a tennis ball, if thrown, would explode on impact from the match heads lighting against one another.

Do not dissolve purified aspirin in sulfuric acid and potassium nitrate while keeping the mixture at a low temperature. Just don’t do it. The resulting chemical, TNP, is very toxic and very explosive.

Ed. Note: The above is intended for entertainment purposes only. These instructions are not complete and are not intended for actual use.