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In This Issue

• Spec to Columnist: Blow Yourself
• Vote Phil "Shuttlecock" Steigman
• Magic Cards Not Key to Happy Sex Life
• Letters to the Editor
• FU Foundation Unveils New Logo Wear
• Lerner Elevators vs. ROLM phones - The Final Battle
• Regime Change at The Fed
• Whoah It's A Scary Roach!
• Nerd Wizard Levels Up on Girl at Bar
• A Pleasant Star Wars DVD Fantasy
• Imaginary Superhuman Boyfriend Tell-All!
• Marauding Interviewer: Will You Take These Pills?
• Make Your Own Flamethrower or AIDS Drugs From the Web
• Freshman Magical Mystery Tour of Columbia
• Erotic Mad Libs
• Adventures of Ice Bitch II
• Catch As Catch Can
• Stickman Theatre
• Lord of The Rings Party
• Dining at Columbia, Mob Style
• Crane Droppings
• THEY WATCH

Favorite Deity/Deities) _________
(noun with a mind of its own) ___
(adjective) ____________________
(deep place)___________________
(adjective) ____________________
(adjective) ____________________
(favorite random noise)_________
(adjective) _________________________________________
(method of connection) ______________________________
(adverb form of how you want your food) _______________
(way of dancing) ____________________________________
(method of uncovering) ______________________________
(noun) ____________________________________________
(way of expressing nudity) ____________________________
(type of journey) ____________________________________
(direction) _________________________________________
(verb ending in -ed) _________________________________
(something you can suck on) _________________________
(something you drink) _______________________________
(verb) _____________________________________________
(verb ending in -ed) _________________________________
(noun) ____________________________________________
(plural noun) _______________________________________
(related noun) ______________________________________
(verb ending in -ed) __________________________________
(verb in past tense) __________________________________
(verb ending in -ing) _________________________________
(location) __________________________________________
(noun) ____________________________________________
(location) __________________________________________
(phrase) ___________________________________________
(place you put something into) ________________________
(noun or pronoun) __________________________________
(verb ending in -ing) _________________________________
(verb ending in -ing) _________________________________
(liquid) ____________________________________________
(noun that results from an emotion)____________________
(hair type) _________________________________________
(noun) ____________________________________________
(adverb) ___________________________________________
(verb in past tense) __________________________________
(shapes) ___________________________________________
(descriptive phrase) __________________________________
(verb) _____________________________________________
(noun) ____________________________________________
(something that rocks) _______________________________
(what is above your neck) _____________________________
(random noise)__________

(Favorite Deity/Deities), how he wanted her. His eyes scanned her body, and that was all it took for his (noun with a mind of its own) to be throbbing with desire. Her lust was just as (adjective). All she could think about was getting it inside of her (deep place). He was (adjective). He was (adjective). He was (favorite random noise).

Their lips met in a (adjective) kiss. His tongue (method of connection) itself to hers, as they kissed (adverb form of how you want your food). Her fake nails  (way of dancing) along his shoulders, and as they did, he drew her shirt up over her head. She was more ambitious, (method of uncovering) his pants and boxers off of his (noun) first. Quickly, (way of expressing nudity).

Once they were, she kissed him again, her lips beginning a (type of journey) of kisses (direction) of his body. They (verb ending in -ed) when they reached his cock, already hard in anticipation. First she licked just the top of his (something you can suck on), teasingly tasting the (something you drink) that had begun to (verb) there. Then, slowly, she took his aching shaft into her lips. Her tongue (verb ending in -ed) up and down its length, as she sucked at his thick (noun), paying special attention to his sensitive (plural noun), and teasingly circling his (related noun). He moaned as she (verb ending in -ed) with his shaft: in and out, in and out, of her hot, wet mouth.

She stopped just before he (verb in past tense), pulling his body against hers and (verb ending in -ing) his cock into her wet, needful pussy instead. In one steady thrust he was (location). Then, again and again he plunged his (noun) into her tight (location). His (phrase) filled her as he slid it in and out of her (place you put something into). He didn't stop until (noun or pronoun) exploded inside her, (verb ending in -ing) hard, and
(verb ending in -ing) her little pussy with (liquid).

Now it was her turn for (noun that results from an emotion). He brushed his nose against her pubic (hair-type) and nestled there, slipping his tongue into the folds of her (noun). (Adverb), he (verb in past tense) (shapes), around her clit with his tongue. Then, flattening his tongue and shoving her hard (descriptive phrase) button, he made her moan and (verb). His tongue continued working (noun) until she was rocking her (something that rocks) and grinding hard against his (what is above your neck), finally moaning and screaming with the sweet release of orgasm. He really was (random noise).