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In This Issue

• The Monkey Election College
• The Goshen, CT County Fair
• Freak Babies: Gotta Catch 'Em All
• Interview with author Louis Silverstein
• Animals, Placentae and You
• Letters to the Feditor
• 114th Street Rat Rock Exploration
• Bodacious the Rebel Bull
• Fed Arts Review: Columbia Unbecoming
• Mary Had a Little Lamb... with Potatoes
• John Jay Pet Deathmatch
• A Letter to the Columbia Gospel Choir
• DARE: 8 Ways to Say No
• Ice Bitch Comic
• Guide to Naming Suburban Housing Developments
• THEY WATCH

Praise for The Fed

To whom it may concern:

I recently happened upon the latest issue of The Fed in Uris Deli.

Hats off to your staff. You produce one hell of an entertaining publication.

Please make sure plenty of future issues make their way to Uris. Business school students will thank you for the gesture.

Best,

Jay Akasie '05

Columbia Business School

Insane Rant Abridged

It's Not Jem That Sucks, It's Your Attitude

By Lauren Vander Veen

In response to your article, "Jem and the Holograms Suck Major Holo-Ass," (18.3) I am outraged by your lack of research before writing this.  Beyond simply disagreeing with many of your statements, you have the facts wrong...

At the dawn of her own series, those original seven-minutes segments were strung together to create this full feature film which you saw. At the same time when forced to stretch these smaller episodes out,the easiest thing to do was alter the music videos.  Thus they repeated verses and scenes to add time.

These original, smaller segments were of lower quality because Hasbro & Sunbow productions were not sure what kind of show they had on their hands.  They had no clue that Jem would create such a cult following so quickly.  At this point, more money was put into the production allowing for better resources.  If you continue on in Season 1, you ill notice that the animation becomes of much better quality around the episode The World Hunger Shindig. So much so, that in 1986 it was nominated for Best Animation Series.  Jem ran three seasons, from the fall of 1985 to the spring of 1988 with a total of 65 episodes.  It was then aired in re-runs on the USA Network into the early 90's. You had the synopsis of J&H correct for the most part, with the exception of a Hologram named Lena. I cannot be certain where you got that name from, but the Hologram was actually named Shana.  The Misfits, however, were not a punk rock band as you describe them.  They were simply 80's pop with a less sugary beat than J&H produced.  Their songs were based on greed and self-promotion with titles such as Winning is Everything. There was nothing intrinsically evil about it.  Personally, I think referring to them as punk is an insult to your so-called sacred establishment of punk rock. I have a feeling Sum 41 and Blink just might agree with me.

To say that you remain appalled, hurt and betrayed by (your) own previous enjoyment of this cartoon tells me perhaps you're a little too sensitive.  It is just a cartoon after all.  If you can't reach in and find the little girl that once adored this cartoon, then maybe your choice to grow up in a cynical, jaded world cannot be undone.  I prefer a more optimistic point of view on life.  Of course I can watch it now and notice that Kimber, Aja and Ashley all sound eerily the same, but I choose to look past that and see through the eyes of my innocent, younger self.  I'm not saying the show is without its faults.  There are many.  But if you are jaded by the reality of your youth than you are missing out on what nostalgia is.  Everything was simpler back then, the things you think about now have no relevance to the way you looked at thingsback then.  Can't you just leave it that way?

Dear Ms. Vander Veen,

Upon careful analysis of your letter, we here at The Fed would like to point a few things out to you.  Firstly, you admit that "these original, smaller segments were of lower quality," and proceed to make excuses for the show.  Whatever the reasons, we stand by our assertion that the show sucked.  Unlike you, we did not view the series through the eyes of our "innocent, younger [selves]," preferring instead to confront reality.  Give it a chance, it can be interesting.

Furthermore, your musical critique falls flat.  You say that The Misfits were not a punk rock band.  Whether they were or not (or were simply supposed to be understood as one by an audience that probably was unfamiliar with punk) may be a reasonable point of debate.  But if your reference point for what qualifies as punk is Sum 41 or Blink 182, you have no standing to make an argument.  Buy Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables, think about it long and hard, and then get back to us.

Sincerely,     

Matt Lippert

Head Copy Editor

PS: If Jem and the Holograms really is "just a cartoon after all," why did you write us a 1400-word letter on the subject?