Looking for new writers and graphic designers!
Come to our meetings every Sunday night at 9:00pm 5th floor of Lerner (near the student
government office).
All are welcome.
Buy a T-Shirt
Do you love animals? Or sodomy? Then buy a Fed T-shirt!
About Us
We have a long and storied history. Learn more about us...
Posted: September 30, 2005
In This Issue
- Young and In Heat
- Teen Talk
- Way Embarassing Stories From Teens Like You!
- Letters to the Feditor
- You're Bleemin' Thin!
- New, Finger-Eatin' Good Diet!
- Pot Calls Kettle Black, Gag Ball Calls Assless Chaps Gay
- Sequels: Always Better Than Originals
- Boy Bands: Our Saviors
- Barbara Bush is a Dead Bitch
- H&M: We're So Hip!
- Beauty is in the Red, Tearful Eye of the Beholder
- Pity the Lowly Rock Dove
- Do-It-Yourself Object of Love
- Ode to a Spill-Proof Mug
- Mouse and Cat: World Series Prep
- Revolve: The *New* New Testament
- Fed Insider with Grown-Up Teen Idol Rider Strong
- Jewry Blocks Masturbation
- The 9 Train
- THEY Watch
- The Staff of 21.1
Letters to the Feditor
Peasants,
One way to examine or explode a stereotype is by pretending to embrace it and hoping other people see how ridiculous it is. I'll admit it's a bit of an undertaking to dedicate an entire issue to that idea, but we've tried. Consequently, we have printed words like "bitch", "gay", "fat", and "coke-addicted whore" more than usual. So, if you pick up on the negativity and fear herein, try and imagine the hate and paranoia that is hidden so well in just about anything a teenager reads, watches, or hears. Especially in church.
In other news, one of the cool things about being able to write an editorial and not having to answer to anyone about the content is that you can use it for totally personal reasons.
So, Dear 1020,
Yeah you might have caught me taking a hit from my flask, but I did in fact purchase drinks from your establishment. Next time, before you give me shit for patronizing your bar, why don't you pick on the kids who show up and don't buy any drinks? They're the ones about whom you should be concerned.
It's a talent, not a problem.
-Sam Jenning, EIC
I'm writing to confirm that you are the editor of your school's newspaper. I wanted to inform you - so you could tell your journalists - about Answers.com, the free answer-based search engine. It's a great tool for journalists looking for quick facts in their stories; the site boasts a "perfect page" for over a million topics, using information from over a 100 editorially culled sources. I hope you find the site useful and pass it along to your writers.
Best,
-- Alan <A*****@RLMpr.com>
Alan Danzis, Account Executive
RLM Public Relations
Alan,
The Fed strongly denies all allegations of journalism and professional conduct.
Factually,
-Sam Jenning, EIC
She talks about the $40 for the books. This is a special offer for the writer. You get to buy two at most for that price. You are at no time forced to by the books. The books are top quality. I was in a Stream of Imagining but did not buy the book. Now it is no longer available to buy. So if she does not want it I will take it off her hands.
I have been published by the International Library of Poetry three times in five years in two countries and I have never had a problem. The problem seems to be with Kate. She didn't like that the other fellow in her class got picked. She thinks that her work is better than everyone else's. Not everyone may think so. eveyone's taste may vary. I was turned down to be in many anthologies. I will admit I have read other poems and said how did that get published and I didn't. But no matter what you think of the book another publisher you find execptable may look through it and like your work. The more who see it. The more who'll know it.
Kevin Regan
Dear Kevin,
Katie thought your letter was darling. From one artist to another, I take comfort knowing that our work will live on after we're gone; your shitty poetry, my articles about porn.
-Sam Jenning, EIC.
You need more about S/m. Particularly for gay men. Of course, anonymous. I want to know where I can find some dudes into uniforms who will fuck my gaping hole for hours. Then will leave me tied upin the Butler stacks, in the stalls of any t-room on campus, at the quadrangle, or under Alma mater). Or else, just a gang bang of hot men of any persuasion who will yearn to get into my mouth or cunt and stay in for at least as many years as it takes to get the graduate degree they also yearn to get into.
Ted Rauch
Dear Ted,
"Into which they also yearn to get", you see, because if you end the sentence with a preposition we have trouble understanding what all the hot men want or where they all want to go. Also, I am curious about your mancunt. Please tell us more.
Heartily,
-Sam Jenning, EIC
One way to examine or explode a stereotype is by pretending to embrace it and hoping other people see how ridiculous it is. I'll admit it's a bit of an undertaking to dedicate an entire issue to that idea, but we've tried. Consequently, we have printed words like "bitch", "gay", "fat", and "coke-addicted whore" more than usual. So, if you pick up on the negativity and fear herein, try and imagine the hate and paranoia that is hidden so well in just about anything a teenager reads, watches, or hears. Especially in church.
In other news, one of the cool things about being able to write an editorial and not having to answer to anyone about the content is that you can use it for totally personal reasons.
So, Dear 1020,
Yeah you might have caught me taking a hit from my flask, but I did in fact purchase drinks from your establishment. Next time, before you give me shit for patronizing your bar, why don't you pick on the kids who show up and don't buy any drinks? They're the ones about whom you should be concerned.
It's a talent, not a problem.
-Sam Jenning, EIC
Journalism? As in "not lies"?
Hi -I'm writing to confirm that you are the editor of your school's newspaper. I wanted to inform you - so you could tell your journalists - about Answers.com, the free answer-based search engine. It's a great tool for journalists looking for quick facts in their stories; the site boasts a "perfect page" for over a million topics, using information from over a 100 editorially culled sources. I hope you find the site useful and pass it along to your writers.
Best,
-- Alan <A*****@RLMpr.com>
Alan Danzis, Account Executive
RLM Public Relations
Alan,
The Fed strongly denies all allegations of journalism and professional conduct.
Factually,
-Sam Jenning, EIC
RE: 19.3 - Poetry dot com, where poetry goes to die
I was searching and I found the article by Kate Herman on your site. I don't think that she realises that they do not print the classical poets. This is why she did not find the ones she respected the most. The people, including myself, are not published poets. They are people who may have written one poem to people who may have written a hundred. You retain copyrights to your work.She talks about the $40 for the books. This is a special offer for the writer. You get to buy two at most for that price. You are at no time forced to by the books. The books are top quality. I was in a Stream of Imagining but did not buy the book. Now it is no longer available to buy. So if she does not want it I will take it off her hands.
I have been published by the International Library of Poetry three times in five years in two countries and I have never had a problem. The problem seems to be with Kate. She didn't like that the other fellow in her class got picked. She thinks that her work is better than everyone else's. Not everyone may think so. eveyone's taste may vary. I was turned down to be in many anthologies. I will admit I have read other poems and said how did that get published and I didn't. But no matter what you think of the book another publisher you find execptable may look through it and like your work. The more who see it. The more who'll know it.
Kevin Regan
Dear Kevin,
Katie thought your letter was darling. From one artist to another, I take comfort knowing that our work will live on after we're gone; your shitty poetry, my articles about porn.
-Sam Jenning, EIC.
Hot, yearning men and the orifices that they love.
Dear the fed:You need more about S/m. Particularly for gay men. Of course, anonymous. I want to know where I can find some dudes into uniforms who will fuck my gaping hole for hours. Then will leave me tied upin the Butler stacks, in the stalls of any t-room on campus, at the quadrangle, or under Alma mater). Or else, just a gang bang of hot men of any persuasion who will yearn to get into my mouth or cunt and stay in for at least as many years as it takes to get the graduate degree they also yearn to get into.
Ted Rauch
Dear Ted,
"Into which they also yearn to get", you see, because if you end the sentence with a preposition we have trouble understanding what all the hot men want or where they all want to go. Also, I am curious about your mancunt. Please tell us more.
Heartily,
-Sam Jenning, EIC