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In This Issue

• Young and In Heat
• Teen Talk
• Way Embarassing Stories From Teens Like You!
• Letters to the Feditor
• You're Bleemin' Thin!
• New, Finger-Eatin' Good Diet!
• Pot Calls Kettle Black, Gag Ball Calls Assless Chaps Gay
• Sequels: Always Better Than Originals
• Boy Bands: Our Saviors
• Barbara Bush is a Dead Bitch
• H&M: We're So Hip!
• Beauty is in the Red, Tearful Eye of the Beholder
• Pity the Lowly Rock Dove
• Do-It-Yourself Object of Love
• Ode to a Spill-Proof Mug
• Mouse and Cat: World Series Prep
• Revolve: The *New* New Testament
• Fed Insider with Grown-Up Teen Idol Rider Strong
• Jewry Blocks Masturbation
• The 9 Train
• THEY Watch
• The Staff of 21.1

Board of Editors

editor-in-chief
Sam Jenning
publisher
Bill McLaughlin
head submissions editors
Addison Anderson
Perrie Briskin

Associate Board

Hannah Rose Baker
Michael Bredin
Chas Carey
Mahnaz Dar
Arnold Park
Jamie Peck
Stephanie Quan
Kareem Shaya
Russell Spitzer
Allison Titman
Sarah Wanger

Contributors

Ana Arguera
Rachel Barza
Yoni Ben Tov
Helen Buyniski
Michael Grinspan
Matt Holden
Darby Hudson
Mike Ilardi
Ria Mar-fan
Shaina Rubin
Autumn Ruhe
Leslie Skalak
Kimi Traube
Rob Trump



Any misspelling, grammatical faux pas, or other ‘mistakes’ are intentional: they were left in for effect, and if that’s not obvious to you, you’re just not getting it. The Fed treats non-responses as affirmatives. We reserve the right to edit submissions for length and clarity. The opinions expressed herein are not neccesarily the views of the Fed. The views of the Fed are as follows:

1. Fed clean, NSOP dirty.
2. In the words of a Christian teen magazine, “Homosexuality is a sin. Just like gossiping about your best friend.”
3. Thank you Chloe, Sophie, and our other layout helpers!
4. Eat steak, eat steak, kill yourself.

The Fed is a forum; views expressed in individual articles are those of the author and do not necessarily speak for anyone else affiliated with the paper.