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In This Issue

• First Aid Failure
• A Recipe for Delicious Choke-O Puffs
• Senior Giving '06 to Fund Expansion
• Letters to the Feditor
• When That All-Night Nominee Still Only Gets a C
• Less Well-Known Choking Placards
• Sexual Perversion in Legoland
• Drink-Or-Treat!
• Minutes from the Debate Between Yes and No
• Silly Catchphrase Spreads Like Plague
• How Fight Club Ruined My Teenhood
• The Green Bodice of My Love
• Can't You Smell That Smell?
• Not Your Average Science Fair Project
• The Adventures of Snakey the Snake
• THEY Watch
• The Staff of 21.3

Board of Editors

editor-in-chief
Sam Jenning
publisher
Bill McLaughlin
head submissions editors
Addison Anderson
Perrie Briskin

Associate Board

Hannah Rose Baker
Michael Bredin
Chas Carey
Mahnaz Dar
Arnold Park
Jamie Peck
Stephanie Quan
Kareem Shaya
Russell Spitzer
Allison Titman
Sarah Wanger

Contributors

Yoni BenTov
Helen Buyniski
Michael Grinspan
Sophie Litschwartz
Shaina Rubin
Rob Trump
Kimi Traube

Thanks To

The Warriors
High School Journalism
Hard-Love Coaching
The Wikipedia entry for  "Old English 800"


Any misspelling, grammatical faux pas, or other ‘mistakes' are intentional: they were left in for effect, and if that's not obvious to you, you're just not getting it. The Fed treats non-responses as affirmatives. We reserve the right to edit submissions for length and clarity. The opinions expressed herein are not neccesarily the views of the Fed.  The views of the Fed are as follows:

1. The umlaut is the horny goat weed of vowels.
2.  Back in the day we didn't say "lack of content," we said "space for nintendo graphics and pictures of fat people".
3.  Wear the hat.
4.  Every weekend should be Halloween.

The Fed is a forum; views expressed in individual articles are those of the author and do not necessarily speak for anyone else affiliated with the paper.