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In This Issue

• Positively Sino-Soidal
• AIDS, SARS, Avian Flu... Bean Curd?
• A Paradoxical Paroxysm of Pancakes
• Letters to the Editor
• International Yuks
• Après Moi, Le Corbusier
• Get a Free Bobblehead, for a Limited Time Only!
• The Sweet, Sensual Twang of Success
• Shut Up, Shut Up.
• To Sachs With Love
• Santa's Grottos Steal X-Mas
• Broad Goes Abroad to Paris
• A Lesson on Father Christmas
• Hugo Chavez in 2008: He’ll Crush Us Like Grapes!
• Martha’s Civil Unrest Tips
• Politics: Opiate of the Asses
• A Plan to Unite Humanity Without Using Glue
• Mad Cow: All the Cool Kids Are Contracting It
• Things Around the World on Which to Pee
• Trapped in the Closet (Deleted Scene)
• Mario Around the World!
• THEY WATCH
• The Staff of 21.4

Board of Editors

editor-in-chief
Sam Jenning
publisher
Bill McLaughlin
head submissions editors
Addison Anderson
Perrie Briskin

Associate Board

Hannah Rose Baker
Michael Bredin
Chas Carey
Mahnaz Dar
Arnold Park
Jamie Peck
Stephanie Quan
Kareem Shaya
Russell Spitzer
Allison Titman
Sarah Wanger

Contributors

Kimi Traube
Helen Buyniski
Michael Grinspan
Rob Trump
Sophie Litschwartz
Leslie Skalak
Yoni BenTov
Rob Notwicz
Emily Greenlee

Thanks To

Bill and the non-Stereo
The Layout Diaspora
Bodily functions
Future Russell
Big Star
That bursted sewage line


Any misspelling, grammatical faux pas, or other ‘mistakes' are intentional: they were left in for effect, and if that's not obvious to you, you're just not getting it. The Fed treats non-responses as affirmatives. We reserve the right to edit submissions for length and clarity. The opinions expressed herein are not neccesarily the views of the Fed.  The views of the Fed are as follows:

1.  Goomba-ya my lord, Goomba-ya.
2. "Walking to New Orleans?" Fats, you can't even walk to the fridge.
3. I am a holiday sale unto myself.
4.  Globalization will get me laid? Sign me up!

The Fed is a forum; views expressed in individual articles are those of the author and do not necessarily speak for anyone else affiliated with the paper.