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In This Issue

• DeLovely? DeLorean.
• What Would Future You Do?
• What Are Your Plans For That Junk?
• Letters to the Editors
• The Adventures of Young Boy and Park Girl in 4-D
• Hipsters Remember Awkward Tweens at Brooklyn Bar
• You Can Call Me Ishmael Anytime
• Oh, Take Me Over Awkwardly
• People Know Me. Cool People.
• Not Even Time Thwarts Yo Mama
• I Plan To Own The Future
• How to Write Love Poems for Girls Who Can Read
• Lies My Robots Told Me
• My Ears Are Bleeding! Wait, That's Just My Vagina.
• Veritas Forum Takes Stand Against Death
• Too Jewish to Play Ska?
• Damned Interface Technology!
• The Church of Timeology
• THEY WATCH
• The Staff of 21.5

If I may be serious for a moment...

    The Spec editorial page is a blight.  I suppose this year’s big controversey is the sad state of activism on campus--at least, according to the malcontents who pass for Spec columnists.  If anyone actually cares about whether or not we have a cohesive and respectful campus community, the first step will be for everyone to stop pointing fingers.  I have no love for the same administration that tried to cancel Take Back The Night, but I do not blame them for the fact that most undergrads are self-segregating, apathetic, and rightfully tired of the puerile bickering which passes for debate around here.

    I am not willing to settle for the spectre of some common enemy.  We are not up against a faceless cadre of racists, homophobes, elitists, etc.  We are up against ourselves and nothing more.  Talk is cheap: let’s quit grandstanding in the name of left-wing idealism and actually try to understand each other.

“ain’t no justice, it’s just us”

Samuel Jenning, EIC

 

RE 21.1: Ryan Cabrera is Gay

    Dear all losers who said this about ryan cabrera, you are all wrong he is not gay and if you say he is then you all are gay people your self. I am ryan cabreras #1  fan. I am 12 years old and live in florida. thx so0 much stop calling him gay

~mad at you

<slattery***@cox.net>

    only someone THAT retarded could write an article like that!!! that is the most useless article I've EVER read!

Don't be mad just cuz Ryan Cabrera is that much better than u! ur such a gay fuck!!

~*~Nadia~*~ <nadialeat****@yahoo.com>

Wait, We’re Still Cool

    i just googled my name and found that the Fed has been digitized. This is the quote that comes up in the search: 

"Standards changed.  Former Editor Becky Smeyne recalled, “I started writing about sex.”  The Fed had begun to larch into the 21st Century."

    Well, I'm still writing, but now about sex AND booze, and I have a whole lot more readers: myopenbar.com

love,

becky  <rebecca_smeyne***@yahoo.com>

Becky,

    What, you think you’re better than me?  Damn, I wish I could go on from my lucrative career as a college humor writer to documenting the incredibly pointless lives of downtown kids and trust fund babies.

    No, wait--if I say something nice, can I eat with the popular kids at your lunch table?

Kisses,

Samuel Jenning, EIC and Social Climber

 

Vaguely Illegal!!

    I would like detailed instructions for the making of iodine crystals. If you cannot provide the instructions yourself, please refer me to a website that holds this information. This is greatly appreciated.

<MS0F***@aol.com>

MSo,

    Iodine crystals are used for more than one kind of illegal substance.   So, I am somewhat suspicious of your motives.  Though I regret our inability to assist you, the fact that your bathtub meth operation has probably exploded in your face by now weighs not in the slightest upon my conscience.

Good Luck,

Samuel Jenning, Drug Sniffing EIC

   

    ok, so this morning I watched a OLN tv special on bodacious the bull.  I got to thinking along the same lines as The Fed, about bovine oppression and bodacious' glorious victories.  i did a web search on the esteemed bull and came across your website, which expressed my views precisely.  your article on our subversive comrade fit my thinking exactly.

    so in the spirit of bodacious himself, i have subversively used alice xie's image to make my own t-shirt...

BODACIOUS: most subversive of bulls.

<sky**@untamed.be>

    Where do you get your information? You have obviously not done your homework. Bulls are not tortured before being riden and horses are not " pinched"  in order to get them the buck. You obviously have never riden a horse or you would know that touching a horses flank will make them buck. Please do your research before presenting this "bullshit" as factual.

Dawn McVicker <dmcvic****@direcway.com>