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Posted: April 14, 2006
In This Issue
- The New Spec Editorial Page
- A Sojourn to M’Ville
- Fear and Loathing with Jim Henson
- I Can Be Homeless Too, Mommy
- Letters to the Feditor
- She Says, “To-MAH-to,” He Says, “Bll-RR-gh.”
- The Hobo Lottery
- Fractal Tetris
- News on the Party Front(al Nudity)
- Everything is Love and Theft
- Loving the Mailer-Daemon
- Community Time
- “They” Continue to Keep Natural Cures From You
- Fed Bash - NOT! LOLOLomg
- Plagiarismo in Two Lines with Things Like That
- Senator Kennedy Surprises Attendants of "Ted Bash"
- A Letter from Our Sudoku Editor
- Hinden-Fed
- South-by-Southwest Tour Diary
- THEY Watch
- Staff of 21.7
Letters to the Feditor
Peasants,
I would be remiss if I did not start by thanking all the people who worked so hard to make Fed Bash a success. So, without further ado, the following people and groups are awesome: Joe, Lauri, Maxwell, Sabor, TAAL, CUSFS, CV, CUFP, Alice!, SGA, Sophie, Arnold, John, Bill, Jamie, and of course all the rest of the Fed staff who helped out.
In other news, we have a new year's worth of Fed staff. None of them are as pretty as me, but I'm sure they'll make what they lack in charm with hard work and quiet fortitude. Just kidding, they're incompetent.
Suckers,
-Sam Jenning, EIC the fed.
RE: 20. 3 Bodacious the Rebel Bull
you people are crazy. If you read the Word of God, you would learn that man hath dominion over all creatures.
Jackson Walker <walke***@auburn.edu>
Hi Jackson,
Actually, I did read The Almighty Word of The One True and Awesome God for my Bar Mitzvah. The GodWords concerned dealt with diseases of the skin and when you ought to kick lepers out of your camp to let them die in the desert. So you know, in case you haven't read all of God's Words, it is apparently God's intent that we let the sick and elderly die of exposure, stone homosexuals to death, and practice slavery. Oh God, you say the darnedest things.
See you in paradise,
Sam Jenning, Archbishop of Good Lovin'
Our Founders Speak
Hmm...the paper's changed a li'l bit since Neil Gorsuch, PT Waters and I founded it...it's a lot less pretentious, for one thing.
Y'all make me feel old... By the way, I was (stll am, actually) the libertarian. And here's another little tidbit: there was actually a FOURTH founder who mysteriously disappeared from the masthead in, oh, 1988, I believe it was. I'm not saying what happened in an unencrypted email, but if they still teach you about Stalin's purges you'll have some idea. ) Keep up the good work. Don't make me come over there and start kicking asses.
Andy <alevy***@optonline.net>
Bill,
I hope you successfully passed the torch!! Back in those days, Levy, Gorsuch, and I wrote The Fed from Columbia's computer lab, signing up for time on the computers, then we would sit on a floor somewhere—East Campus, I think--and drink beer and do the layout. None of us had a computer. (I was opposed to computers, suspecting that they were merely a fad; neither Aquinas nor Augustine had one, and they turned out fine).
I think in those days, we ran a small profit from the ads which went into some kind of secret fund somewhere. Not on the masthead, but an important contributor, was a GS student named Pierre D. Copeland. Also helpful was Gordon B. Bechtel.
Gorsuch always wanted a large poster of himself, cult of personality Saddam style, in an eventual office, but we never did secure such an office. My guess and hope is that you now have something a bit more substantial than a dorm room floor (but that you still have the beer).
Best,
PT Waters <pwat**@nvtl.com>
On behalf of The Fed I’d like to say that you all are probably the best 40-year-olds EVER. Your approval means everything to us because our collective fathers were cruel and unloving. We all joined this magazine as a ploy to get your affection.
And now you love us! This is what those starving kids in Cambodia must feel when the aid ministry shows them a picture of their middle-class benefactors.
From the now-warm cockles of my heart,
-Sam Jenning, bright-eyed orphan
RE: 20.3: Freak Babies
That is just wrong. Purely wrong.
<Sporkx***@aol.com>
RE: 18.6: Peace Out, motha-fuckas!
You people are MOTHERFUCKERS alright. One of your BITCH--LOVEBABES drop-- abort her baby, for the dead baby pic?
William Martin <WILLI****@peoplepc.com
We’re going to let Jabber answer this one:
Five poisons auctioned off one pawnbroker, then two orifices partly annoyingly tastes the quite bourgeois aardvark.
Jupiter telephoned progressive trailers.
However putrid botulisms cleverly perused the very schizophrenic aardvarks, although elephants ran away noisily, Paul marries the silly fountain.
Yours,
Jabber
I would be remiss if I did not start by thanking all the people who worked so hard to make Fed Bash a success. So, without further ado, the following people and groups are awesome: Joe, Lauri, Maxwell, Sabor, TAAL, CUSFS, CV, CUFP, Alice!, SGA, Sophie, Arnold, John, Bill, Jamie, and of course all the rest of the Fed staff who helped out.
In other news, we have a new year's worth of Fed staff. None of them are as pretty as me, but I'm sure they'll make what they lack in charm with hard work and quiet fortitude. Just kidding, they're incompetent.
Suckers,
-Sam Jenning, EIC the fed.
RE: 20. 3 Bodacious the Rebel Bull
you people are crazy. If you read the Word of God, you would learn that man hath dominion over all creatures.
Jackson Walker <walke***@auburn.edu>
Hi Jackson,
Actually, I did read The Almighty Word of The One True and Awesome God for my Bar Mitzvah. The GodWords concerned dealt with diseases of the skin and when you ought to kick lepers out of your camp to let them die in the desert. So you know, in case you haven't read all of God's Words, it is apparently God's intent that we let the sick and elderly die of exposure, stone homosexuals to death, and practice slavery. Oh God, you say the darnedest things.
See you in paradise,
Sam Jenning, Archbishop of Good Lovin'
Our Founders Speak
Hmm...the paper's changed a li'l bit since Neil Gorsuch, PT Waters and I founded it...it's a lot less pretentious, for one thing.
Y'all make me feel old... By the way, I was (stll am, actually) the libertarian. And here's another little tidbit: there was actually a FOURTH founder who mysteriously disappeared from the masthead in, oh, 1988, I believe it was. I'm not saying what happened in an unencrypted email, but if they still teach you about Stalin's purges you'll have some idea. ) Keep up the good work. Don't make me come over there and start kicking asses.
Andy <alevy***@optonline.net>
Bill,
I hope you successfully passed the torch!! Back in those days, Levy, Gorsuch, and I wrote The Fed from Columbia's computer lab, signing up for time on the computers, then we would sit on a floor somewhere—East Campus, I think--and drink beer and do the layout. None of us had a computer. (I was opposed to computers, suspecting that they were merely a fad; neither Aquinas nor Augustine had one, and they turned out fine).
I think in those days, we ran a small profit from the ads which went into some kind of secret fund somewhere. Not on the masthead, but an important contributor, was a GS student named Pierre D. Copeland. Also helpful was Gordon B. Bechtel.
Gorsuch always wanted a large poster of himself, cult of personality Saddam style, in an eventual office, but we never did secure such an office. My guess and hope is that you now have something a bit more substantial than a dorm room floor (but that you still have the beer).
Best,
PT Waters <pwat**@nvtl.com>
On behalf of The Fed I’d like to say that you all are probably the best 40-year-olds EVER. Your approval means everything to us because our collective fathers were cruel and unloving. We all joined this magazine as a ploy to get your affection.
And now you love us! This is what those starving kids in Cambodia must feel when the aid ministry shows them a picture of their middle-class benefactors.
From the now-warm cockles of my heart,
-Sam Jenning, bright-eyed orphan
RE: 20.3: Freak Babies
That is just wrong. Purely wrong.
<Sporkx***@aol.com>
RE: 18.6: Peace Out, motha-fuckas!
You people are MOTHERFUCKERS alright. One of your BITCH--LOVEBABES drop-- abort her baby, for the dead baby pic?
William Martin <WILLI****@peoplepc.com
We’re going to let Jabber answer this one:
Five poisons auctioned off one pawnbroker, then two orifices partly annoyingly tastes the quite bourgeois aardvark.
Jupiter telephoned progressive trailers.
However putrid botulisms cleverly perused the very schizophrenic aardvarks, although elephants ran away noisily, Paul marries the silly fountain.
Yours,
Jabber