Looking for new writers and graphic designers!
Come to our meetings every Sunday night at 8:30pm 5th floor of Lerner (near the student
government office).
All are welcome.
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About Us
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In This Issue
- Country of Cuba to be Bought and Renamed
- Frat Guy: Hot Bitches, Not Being Gay Crucial for Success in Next Four Years
- It's a Journal, Not a Diary
- Why Columbia Can't Stand Your Kind
- Magna Carma Libertatum
- Point-Counterpoint: My Roommate Keeps Having Sex in Our Room While I’m There
- How to Succeed in Lit Hum Without Really Trying
- (Taxonomy of) Hot College Coeds
- "Dear Mel"
- Class of 2010: Peer Profiles
- The Thinking Freshmen's Guide to Columbia's Libraries
- The Motorcycle Diaries
- Remembrance of Orientations Past
- A Brief Primer on the Basics of Columbia-Speak
- The Hierarchy of Columbia
- Facilitating Your Future Alcohol Addiction
- Orientalation
- An Illustrated Guide of the Columbia Hipster
- The Adventures of Ice-Bitch
- Points of Interest in Morningside Heights
- A Typical Night in McBain
- Portrait of A Loyal Member of Our Staff
- Get to Know The Fed’s Staff with Two Truths and a Lie
Class of 2010: Peer Profiles
Dan Haley
Name: Rebecca Katzenhoffweiner
High School: Scarsdale Academy
Extracurricular Activities: Community iMPACT HeartShare Coaltion; Amnesty International, chapter 54, Grand Wizard; People Unite, Things Change- Westchester Branch; Suburban Students Against Gentrification
Best High School Moment: Our local doctor totally refused to perform abortions, right. She was all like, "I'm a gastroenterologist," and, "I'm not qualified to perform medical operations on the uterus," blah, blah, blah. I mean, like, hello, we've heard it all before, Sean Hannity - abortion's the fucking law, bitch, just get used to it.
So I organized a protest outside her office and it was going so well that the town committee fined me $200 for creating a public nuisance, which is like totally against the law.
College Expectations: I'm already sick of the campus scene. I know I haven't moved in yet but, like, spending all my time hanging around rich, white kids talking about our big yachts and expensive appliances? Ummm... lame. I think I'm going to get an apartment in Harlem by second semester and start commuting because, I mean, you have to grow up and move on from the college bubble sometime, you know?
Prospective Major: Native American Literature
Favorite Quotes:
"By any means necessary."
- Malcolm X
"The planet isn't doing too well."
- Al Gore
Name: Hon Kai Wong
High School: Stuyvesant HS
Extracurricular Activities: Science Olympiad; web design; quietly venerating my parents and ancestors
Best High School Moment: After I was accepted into Columbia, my parents let me stay out until 9:30 that Saturday and my friends and I got to level Yellow*&9 in Dance Dance Revolution. We also opened the fridge and stared at the beer bottles for awhile. I'm going to drink so much beer in college when I am having sex with all those women!
College Expectations: I want to join the Chinese Culture Club and help produce bizarre fashion shows.
Favorite Quote:
"Strength and Honor."
- Gladiator