Looking for new writers and graphic designers!
Come to our meetings every Sunday night at 8:30pm 5th floor of Lerner (near the student
government office).
All are welcome.
Buy a T-Shirt
Do you love animals? Or sodomy? Then buy a Fed T-shirt!
About Us
We have a long and storied history. Learn more about us...
Posted: August 2006
In This Issue
- Country of Cuba to be Bought and Renamed
- Frat Guy: Hot Bitches, Not Being Gay Crucial for Success in Next Four Years
- It's a Journal, Not a Diary
- Why Columbia Can't Stand Your Kind
- Magna Carma Libertatum
- Point-Counterpoint: My Roommate Keeps Having Sex in Our Room While I’m There
- How to Succeed in Lit Hum Without Really Trying
- (Taxonomy of) Hot College Coeds
- "Dear Mel"
- Class of 2010: Peer Profiles
- The Thinking Freshmen's Guide to Columbia's Libraries
- The Motorcycle Diaries
- Remembrance of Orientations Past
- A Brief Primer on the Basics of Columbia-Speak
- The Hierarchy of Columbia
- Facilitating Your Future Alcohol Addiction
- Orientalation
- An Illustrated Guide of the Columbia Hipster
- The Adventures of Ice-Bitch
- Points of Interest in Morningside Heights
- A Typical Night in McBain
- Portrait of A Loyal Member of Our Staff
- Get to Know The Fed’s Staff with Two Truths and a Lie
The Thinking Freshmen's Guide to Columbia's Libraries
Rob Eckhoff
| Booze | Sex | Group Sex | Sleep | Steamy Body Odor | Peers | Gentrified | |
| Business | Irish Crème & Coffee | Public sex | Bouncy floor sex | Too loud | Sold for profit! | Professional peers | “The Man” |
| Chemistry | Rum 40% Ethanol | Concentrated sex | Coke-addled sex | Chemically Induced | Smells like toluene | Chem Cunts | No |
| Math | 190 | Proof sex | We’re perp-n-dic-u-lar | No nooks | Just body odor | Angry ethnics | No |
| Butler 2 | Mudslide | Stairwell sex | A must | With Miram Datskovsky | Smells like sex | Over-worked peers | Yes |
| Butler 3 | Sober | Balcony sex | For the adventurous | Inevitably | Musty, wet chairs | The janitors | No |
| Butler 4 | Red Bull & Jack | Self-copulation | Sophmores, ick. | If you must | Sauna | Jittery Joe | Yes |
| Butler 6 | Have to share | Grad student sex | With old people | With security guards | Searing hot during day | Just old peers | Geriatric gentry |
| Butler Stacks | Yager | Uncomfortable sex | After closing | 2nd home | Cool, and dry | You are all alone | Yes |
| Law | ABC Art. 8 §126.2 | Pen Tit.N §245.00 | Pen Tit.M §235.06 | Penal Tit.N §240.35.7 | Try the med school | Penal Tit.K §175.20 | Solum jus alumno |
| Lehman | Highly commended | Easy & private Sex | Discreet | Next to me | Cool, and humid | A fellow cave troll | Yes |
