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Posted: October 31, 2006
In This Issue
- Facebook News Feed Charts Relationship's Ups, Downs, Wrongs
- Dr. Doom Next CU GOP Speaker
- Old Dogs, New SAT Rubrics
- Columbia U. Celebrates Halloween
- Cooch Drinks Hootch, Scootches
- A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Meanness
- Interviewing Marauder
- Escalators: Now at Your Local CIA Black Site
- Celebrity Trading Cards
- Real Parties for Which You're Not Voting
- Sound Advice for Celebrity-Starved Democrats
- A New PAC a Day Keeps the Devil Away
- Tables Turn on Foley's Accuser
- Five Senate Races to Watch
- Santorum v. Santorum
- Ten Things Not to Call an Opponent’s Campaign Staffer
- Forbidden Love
- Socialism Creeping
- CU Football Confesses Famous Losing Streak “Never Actually Ended”
- AVG
- The Fed Caption Contest
- Superman!
- Would You Know My Name If I Saw You in Prison?
- THEY Watch
Santorum v. Santorum
Marissa Edelman
Santorum (sæn-tɔr-əm), coined by sex columnist Dan Savage: "the frothy mixture of feces and lubricant resulting at times from anal sex." Compare the senator and his namesake below.
| Santorum, the senator | Santorum, the substance | |
| Voting record | Against anyone who isn’t him | Spotty, slightly stained after repeated washings |
| Sex | Via a hole in a sheet | From behind |
| Evolution? | A liberal nazi lie | A loving God wouldn’t create Rick Santorum |
| Ice cream | Unflavored | Chocolate |
| Favorite porno film | Pokin’ in the Boys’ Room | Pokin’ in the Boys’ Room |