Looking for new writers and graphic designers!
Come to our meetings every Sunday night at 9:00pm 5th floor of Lerner (near the student
government office).
All are welcome.
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About Us
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In This Issue
- Lessons of a Dancer’s Life
- Fast Times at Our Lady of Mercy Elementary
- Gulati Talks Soccer, Economics, and His Evil Alter Ego Zubil Dubabi
- Bleeding Candy Sweethearts
- 79 Ways To Fix Your Iraq
- 10-Year-Old Reviews IMDb’s Top Ten Movies of All Time
- A Good London Drinker Thinks How to Drink Hers
- Tales of the Inexpressible: Kinematics
- Cupid as a Young Teen
- Unadvised, Advising the Unadvisable
- Tales of the Inexpressible: Bless Your Heart
- On the Web, No One Knows You’re a Scientist
- Go Ask Alice!
- The Big News from the Big Town: Hollywood!
- The BWOG
- Bored at Butler
- THEY Watch
THEY Watch
What do you mean, I get nothing? I landed on Free Parking, and at my house, that means I get $500. I don't give a shit if you're the banker-if we don't play by my rules, I'm going home. Yeah, it is JUST a game of Monopoly, and your mom is JUST a whore. Screw you, you just made THEY Watch.
I. If I promised you that buying my patented bathtub gin would help in the world fight against AIDS, you would think I was a liar. But for some reason, it is completely appropriate to sell cell phones and t-shirts with a similar claim. Now those poor third-world children will finally benefit from your abuse of their labor! I wouldn't even mind that much if it were kept as a sub-note on the marketing, but when a campaign claims outright that if I don't buy their cell I'm letting people die of AIDS, I get a little sick inside. (RED) = THEY!
II. Many a pot-addled frat boy will tell you that "the moon rulz number 1," but the city of Boston has decided that whether the moon rulz or not is no laughing matter. For several weeks, Lite-Brite representations of Aqua Teen Hunger Force characters were giving Boston the finger. One city shutdown later, they realized that they were wrong and that someone was to blame for their overreaction. The culprit was everyone but them. In Boston's defense, the devices were made of alarm clock bomb components. Boston = THEY!
III. As a final note, thanks, Facebook, for your new gift feature. I would love to pay $1 to send someone an icon... just kidding, suck my nuts. FACEBOOK GIFTS = THEY!!!