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About Us
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In This Issue
- My Fireside Chat with El Presidente
- Jesus is Found
- Students Exported to China, Along with Most Jobs
- Facial Hair Suspected
- The Top Five Top Ten Lists of All Time
- Procrastinating Superhero Lets Gothamville Children Die Last Thursday
- The Fed's Slightly Outdated Guide to the 2008 Presidential Primaries
- Go Down Low, Lick Her Kent, and Fayherweather
- Journalistic Integrity is for Weak-Minded Women and Syphilis-Ridden Spaniards, Says William Randolph Hearst
- Get Your Artistic Freak On
- A Pictorial Representation of the Night of the Fed Bash
- Subway Seat Sacrifices: How to Prioritize?
- Still from “George Orwell’s 1984 (2008 Movie Adaptation)”
- "Female Sexuality" - A Research Report by Brian Greenberg, 6th Grade
- Ne-Yo Colonialism: A Foray into the Celebrity Psyche
- Crisis Hits Campus, Students Respond in Reasoned and Rational Manner, Fair and Balanced Dialogue Follows
- Three Millennia Later: Yo' Mama Jokes Still Fresh!
- THEY WATCH
- The Staff of 23.5
Subway Seat Sacrifices: How to Prioritize?
Rachel Freeman
It's tough being a dude. When all you want to do is kick up your feet and relax, society demands that, on the subway, you politely sacrifice your seat for the next old hag. Man, fuck that! True, giving up your seat to a hot little Upper West Side number can provide ample opportunities into avenues of poon. But snatching a seat before some bum can get there, when you know for sure there aren't any ladies watching, ain't gonna taint your status one bit. In order to help you judge just when to give up that seat, The Fed provides this handy chart:
