• Join The Fed
• Advertise with The Fed

• About Us
• Contact

In This Issue

• The Colombia Daily Spectador Front Page
• Spec: Cabinet Secretaries Disappointed With Their Careers
• Spec: Hugs for the Homeless Hopes To Be A Success
• Spec: Unrecommended Student Requests Letters of Recommendation
• Grilled Cheese Honored
• Elliot Spitzer = Sex Machine
• Here's a Fairy Tale That Cracks Us Up
• The Colombia Spec Op-Ed Section
• Spec Op-Ed: Juicy Campus is seriously the Best Thing Ev-ar!
• Spec Op-Ed: I Don't Care About Manhattanville
• Spec Op-Ed: Staff Editorial -- We Have Opinions
• Spec Op-Ed: Letters to the Editor
• They Watch
• The Staff of 23.6

As we go about our days—sitting in class, studying in our libraries, or grabbing a quick bite at one of our fine dining establishments—it falls to us to refl ect how lucky we are to go to Columbia. However, it is a fact that nothing can be perfect. And, indeed, there is a widespread perception among our editorial staff that some things at Columbia are not perfect. Some are not even that good.

It is a well-known fact that Columbia is an Ivy League school in New York City, and is, therefore, prestigious. This is one of our many thoughts that we share with you. Would you like to hear more? Of course you would. Our deadline is in twenty minutes, and we haven’t seen the sun in three days.

Columbia’s prestige is not without reason: We have access to some of the finest professors, best libraries, most interesting courses, and best fencing team in the country, if not the world [No one cares about fencing, except 18th century swashbuckling gentlemen. –Ed.]. We get to rub elbows with an unbelievably diverse and interesting student body, and we have access to Manhattan, which is like Paris, but cheaper. Manhattan also turns out to be the terrorists’ favorite place. Which kind of sucks for us.

Unfortunately, not every single professor is good. Some are even bad, we think. Also, the libraries look like refugee camps during finals, and we can’t get a good seat near the window like we’d like. Yesterday, Facebook was going under site maintenance and I wasn’t able to look at all the pictures of myself during my boring physics class. This is why we need wireless in dorms.

Things can get even worse, though. Some bitch from my class always gets the last copy of the book I need, and this asshole on my floor drinks all the Diet Coke in our building’s vending machine. He also has too much loud sex. This bothers us, and we assume it must bother you too. Plus we can’t believe that our Lion mascot’s name is “Roar-ee”.

Students must take steps to become well informed about things: this is an opinion we thought up to help reach our word quota.

Some students are lame and put swastikas on crackers. Others are lame by doing blow all the time and date-raping Barnard girls. What else? What else? Hunger Strike Manhattanville Hate Crime Ahmahdinejad Open Dialogue Minutemen. Shit. It’s four a.m.