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In This Issue

• The Colombia Daily Spectador Front Page
• Spec: Cabinet Secretaries Disappointed With Their Careers
• Spec: Hugs for the Homeless Hopes To Be A Success
• Spec: Unrecommended Student Requests Letters of Recommendation
• Grilled Cheese Honored
• Elliot Spitzer = Sex Machine
• Here's a Fairy Tale That Cracks Us Up
• The Colombia Spec Op-Ed Section
• Spec Op-Ed: Juicy Campus is seriously the Best Thing Ev-ar!
• Spec Op-Ed: I Don't Care About Manhattanville
• Spec Op-Ed: Staff Editorial -- We Have Opinions
• Spec Op-Ed: Letters to the Editor
• They Watch
• The Staff of 23.6

Spring time has come to our fair campus. The sun shines on industrious clumps of students reading Plato,Woolfe, and Hughes. Doe-eyed herds of pre-frosh rove the grounds, brimming with young idealism. Don’t be fooled by these pastoral scenes. THEY want you to think you’re safe.That’s when THEY strike. But I am ever vigilant. I need no sleep. From the faint glow of my laptop screen I see all. THEY will never take me and my fifty empty cups of black coffee. I know who THEY are and I am watching.

I: Once upon a time the world made sense. A quarter bought you a gum ball. A buck bought a street hot dog of suspicious origins. Ten dollars bought you a twelve-dollar metrocard. This was just the way it was. Now, seven dollars buys eight dollars and five cents worth of subway rides? What the fuck am I supposed to do with a five cent metrocard? How dare you, MTA, take away one of the few completely logical things in this city? I used to stand up for your unclean stations and surly transit workers, but no more. The MTA = THEY!

II: Dear Universe, I swear I was a really good girl/boy this year. I did my homework, called my mother every week, even helped a blind lady cross the street for god sake. Yes, maybe I shouldn’t have flipped off those Greenpeace workers or peeked at Suzy Pinkins's Calculus test. But I really deserved that EC Townhouse/Tower Single this year. So why did I lose the housing lottery yet again? Fine, you win. I give up. I’ll just go live in a cardboard box on Broadway, just as nature intended. For the 254th year running The Housing Lottery = THEY!