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In This Issue

• Gilded Age Remembered
• A Dutty-Dance with Death
• Cracking the Porcelein Castle
• The Fed Presents: Lessons in Parenting
• The Dodgessy
• A Collection of Haikus
• The Winter In My Soul
• Sometimes Misinformation Can Be Quite Deadly
• The Potomac’s Constitutional Sewage
• Missed Connections
• Bail-outopoly
• The Short List of Columbia University Clubs
• Beastiality Ever-After
• The Party Doesn’t Stop During a Global Recession
• got meth?
• Getting Ass in Class
• From the Archives
• THE FED has this to say
• They Watch
• The Staff

Editor-in-Chief: Rachel Paige Katz
Publisher: Ben Ehrlich
Head Submissions Editor: Aarti Iyer, Jeffrey Scharfstein

Managing Editor: Nina Pedrad

Editor in Chief Emeritus: Sam Reisman
Publisher Emerita: Sophie Lithschwartz
Head Submissions Editor Emerita: Alex Aaronson
Managing Editor Emeritus: Adam Valen Levinson
Webmaster Emeritus; Arnold Park

Publicity Editor: Rachel Abady
Graphics/Layout Editor: Caity Sigler
Layout Editor: Sean Zhuraw
Copy Editor: Stephen K. Chan
Webmaster: Dan Walker
Secretary: Carly Silver

Submissions Editors
Rowan Buchanan
Amital Isaac
Jared Frieder
Max Shutran
Adam Weiler

Contributors
Elliott Grieco
Halley Hair
Jochen Kang
Jacob Rice