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In This Issue
- Church Purchases Kwanzaa
- What Goes on in Santa's Head While You Sit on His Lap
- The Netherlands Corner
- Iranipedia: Hannukah
- Celebrity Gravestones!
- Insanity, Actually
- Querido Santa
- These Are A Few of Our Favorite Things
- The Fed Presents: "Aporkalypse"
- Are You Having a Bad Christmas?
- A Very WASP-y Christmas
- Dear Santa
- got meth?
- Letter From the Feditrix
- They Watch
- The Staff of the Federalist
They Watch
When South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford was caught having an affair, his initial lie, that he was "hiking the Appalachian Trail," added a new euphemism to our lexicon. Now, with the Tiger Woods implosion in full swing, we wondered what golf-related euphemisms this debacle might give rise to. To get the "golf balls" rolling we present our top ten nominees for Tiger Woods' adultery euphemisms. Tiger was out:
10. Checking his shaft; (and checking it twice to see who is naughty or nice)
9. Using the ball washer;
8. Hitting a shank (Use the French pronunciation: "skank")
7. Getting a hole in one;
6. Sinking a backdoor putt; (on nicely mowed greens!- you know golfers like their carpets kept...)
5. Taking the gimmie; (and then a gimme-some-more)
4. Hitting the sweet spot; (Use the French pronunciation: "G-spot")
3. Counting his strokes;
2. Hooding his club;
And finally . . .
1. Practicing his putting.
The moral of the story is that people who blatantly cheat
on their wives with models and refuse to own up to being
douchebags= THEY! The THEY best Watch Out!- because come
on- for 100 Grand who wouldn't admit to cheating with Tiger!