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In This Issue

• loving miss maple
• iTouch [Myself]
• Babies Compete for Brangelina's Affection
• Toshing It Around with Daniel Tosh
• CCSC Proposes Species-Neutral Housing
• "Frozen" Director Warms Up to The Fed
• The Belgian Corner
• Extension Emails: What I Wrote vs. What It Meant
• Ergonomic Sex Tips for the Female Engineer
• the morning after
• hipster in cc
• They Watch
• Letter From the Feditors
• The Staff of the Federalist

media.gamerevolution.com

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are reportedly separating due to Jolie's decision to host a reality tv show on NBC called "The Orphanage." The premise, conceived by Jeff Zucker, involves children from around the world competing to be adopted by Jolie.

Pitt is not onboard with the show and tabloids speculate he will leave Jolie. In an exclusive interview with Vanity Fair Pitt stated that he is "tired of the house smelling like apple juice and pee." He then broke down into tears recalling the 1983 film "Mr. Mom."

"It was one of the saddest films I've ever seen, but Michael Keaton only had to deal with three little fuckers and they all spoke English."

Asked for her rationale for the show during last night's appearance on "The Oprah Winfrey Show," Jolie said, "this is part of my lifelong ambition to collect a child from every country." "Collect? Don't you mean adopt?" Winfrey asked. "Oh, it's all the same thing," Jolie responded, "They will stand in my display case as the nanny dusts and feeds them. Children are the ultimate collector's item because it takes real commitment to keep them from spoiling."

In an effort to keep things low maintenance, the first episode entails proving which children are best suited for a home with absent parents. Challenges scheduled include a holding it in contest to see who can keep their diapers clean the longest, testing who cries the least after falling off of the swings, and who can amuse themselves the longest playing solo thumb wars. Other episodes challenge the contestants to navigate an obstacle course of heavy pads and building blocks, and then complete a "triangle puzzle." Early critics have noted that these challenges appear to simply reenact scenes from "Lara Croft: Tomb Raider" and fear that if this is successful a trend may emerge where kids are told to act out parts of other Jolie films such as "Girl, Interrupted" or "Original Sin."

The series premieres Wednesday, March 3 at 10 pm on NBC.