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• loving miss maple
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• Babies Compete for Brangelina's Affection
• Toshing It Around with Daniel Tosh
• CCSC Proposes Species-Neutral Housing
• "Frozen" Director Warms Up to The Fed
• The Belgian Corner
• Extension Emails: What I Wrote vs. What It Meant
• Ergonomic Sex Tips for the Female Engineer
• the morning after
• hipster in cc
• They Watch
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• The Staff of the Federalist

Dear Andy,
Hi, I don't know exactly how to ask this, but I recently hugged a man, and I began to think about my image. I mean, I shave my armpits, arms, and legs for a 30.1% increase in aerodynamic efficiency and drag reduction as I move daily from the lab at STP, but what about my gentilia? Help!

Efficient-V

Dear Efficient-V,

I'm impressed! I only get 27.9% reduction of drag (albeit at about 49 kPa below 1 atm). You go, girl! Primary issues aside, this was actually one of the more contentious debates among the six of us at last month's International Woman Engineers Convention. Let's take this issue and solve it engineering style! Problem: Female engineers have been faced with the question "to shave or not to shave" for the entirety of their century-long foray into the field. Using an objective method of analysis, we aim to find a method of pubic maintenance most efficient for work and, possibly (p=.99), sexual performance.
Selection/Rejection Report Benefit Report: Un-Shaved

The full argument against all shaving involves a rather large data set collected by IWE, from which we concluded that any sight of an unshaven body part (esp. a glimpse of a barren ankle) immediately alerts the male engineer that something is wrong. After realizing that you are neither a caffeine hallucination nor a robot, his brain will soon hard reset before realizing that you are, indeed, a woman. On average, this process takes 12.7(0.8)^n seconds, where n is the number of times he has seen you. This can cause a 1.6% drop in SEAS productivity per square inch of a female's visible shaved skin!

Having that patch of hair down there has its uses. With a total volumetric expansion coefficient of 2.4, plenty of utility can be derived from this potential absorption capacity, including using it as an effective sponge to absorb the sweat generated from your nervousness about that third midterm today!

In 99.99% of all occasions in your life, you will not notice a significant reduction in motile efficiency with your pubic hair. Wind tunnel tests have shown an overall 1.4% reduction in drag in the nude on composite/ ballistics gel models, and proper neoprene/polyester blend undergarments used in the proper design of an outfi t has a similar drop in drag.
Benefit Report: Shaved

In the unlikely event of partaking in sexual intercourse, whether it be a test-tube or your TA, a shaved vagina requires lower maintenance if in frequent use. Less is apt to get caught in it, and the unavoidable eventuality of misfi re mess on the part of your partner is mitigated with shaving. Keep in mind the expansion coeffi cient mentioned above, as this applies to all fluids, not just the average cleanser.

One primary consideration is thermal buildup. A reduction in hair will also prevent severe heat buildup during sex. Contrary to popular belief, the hair does not act like a heat shield from the fricative heat caused by an engineer partner's inevitable sexual ineptitude.

Conclusion
I find the optimal middle ground is to keep the area well-shaved except for a small trimmed strip down the middle pointing directly at your genitilia proper. This allows for a good visual cue for your partner. In the event that he is an engineer--or worse, a physicist or mathematician- -this will help him to acquaint himself with a completely alien environment.

Hope this helps!

Andy