Looking for new writers and graphic designers!
Come to our meetings every Sunday night at 9:00pm 5th floor of Lerner (near the student
government office).
All are welcome.
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About Us
We have a long and storied history. Learn more about us...
In This Issue
- Letter From the Editor
- They Watch
- Alcohol.edu Valedictorian Gets Schwasty
- Student Spots Celeb and Doesn’t Flip a Shit; Friends Doubt Her Sanity
- Columbia College First-Year Picks Worst Chair in Classroom
- Columbiascopes
- Class Clown’s Unexpectedly Well-Conceived Joke Falls Flat in LitHum Class
- Tweets of the Week
- Black Friday: A Nocturnal Dad In The AM
- The First Danksgiving Miracle
- Santa Claus is actually Jewish
- What Do You Think?
- “A Rugrats Chanukah” Cures Anti-Semitism
- The Yellow Term Paper
- #ivyleagueproblems
- If You Tweet in the Forest, Does it Make a Sound?
- New Elder Scrolls Game Released “For Nefarious Pro-Capitalist Agenda,” Crackpot Says
- Dance for me, Millie
- How to Increase the Utility of Your Bathroom When You're Shitfaced
- Adventures on DateMySchool.com
- Decoded
- Ask Mark
- Heart2Heart “Facebook Official”
- Reviews of Movies We Haven't Seen Yet: Jack and Jill
- “American Horror Story” is Actually Crazy
- “Dance Moms”: Small Girls, Big Hair
Columbiascopes
Like horoscopes, but for Columbia. It’s your future predicted according to outdated star math, yay! The shitty pictures on the sides are your zodiac animals.
Mariana Robertson
2012: You will regret the end of Occupy Wall Street: it would have been almost like having a job. You will consider Occupying College Street, but decide to move into your parent’s basement instead. The futon will be surprisingly comfortable.
2013: Don’t take this year too seriously, the world will end before you graduate.
2014: You will pick a major for which you have taken no classes. Worst comes to worst, you can always just do a concentration.
2015: You will ask for a fake ID for Kwanzaa. Unfortunately, Kwanzaa isn’t a gift giving holiday. You will continue to spend your nights loitering outside Crack Del.
Barnard: The gate to the quad will continue to close 5 minutes earlier each night. You will interpret this as an attack on your sexual liberation. It is.
General Studies: Your kids will resent you for spending so much time at school.
Graduate Schools: You will spend your time in graduate school applying to PhD programs. You will never become a real adult, instead finding refuge in the depths of academia. It’s okay.
SEAS: You will continue to debate whether to align yourself with the “CE” or “SEAS” faction. You will not come to a decision before the year ends. It is of grave importance that you choose correctly. Choose wisely.