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In This Issue
- Letter From the Editor
- They Watch
- Alcohol.edu Valedictorian Gets Schwasty
- Student Spots Celeb and Doesn’t Flip a Shit; Friends Doubt Her Sanity
- Columbia College First-Year Picks Worst Chair in Classroom
- Columbiascopes
- Class Clown’s Unexpectedly Well-Conceived Joke Falls Flat in LitHum Class
- Tweets of the Week
- Black Friday: A Nocturnal Dad In The AM
- The First Danksgiving Miracle
- Santa Claus is actually Jewish
- What Do You Think?
- “A Rugrats Chanukah” Cures Anti-Semitism
- The Yellow Term Paper
- #ivyleagueproblems
- If You Tweet in the Forest, Does it Make a Sound?
- New Elder Scrolls Game Released “For Nefarious Pro-Capitalist Agenda,” Crackpot Says
- Dance for me, Millie
- How to Increase the Utility of Your Bathroom When You're Shitfaced
- Adventures on DateMySchool.com
- Decoded
- Ask Mark
- Heart2Heart “Facebook Official”
- Reviews of Movies We Haven't Seen Yet: Jack and Jill
- “American Horror Story” is Actually Crazy
- “Dance Moms”: Small Girls, Big Hair
Letter From the Editor
Elliott Grieco
Dear The Fed readers,
This issue is dedicated to anxiety.
The year of our Lord 2011 is coming to a close; revolution and #firstworldproblems (see p. 12) remain palpable in the atmosphere. Since our last issue, the sales of Guy Fawkes masks have risen while consumer culture has been ripped to shreds. Many Columbia undergraduate seniors have put themselves through countless job opportunities, bending themselves at the whims of interviewers. All the while, the burden of finals approaches, making us cower in our dorm rooms with inaction. That is, until deadlines, peers, and expectant professors spur us towards accomplishment, whether by will or coercion.
Where is the humor in anxiety? Rushes of anxiety come up in the most varietal of circumstances. When we choose what to wear in the morning, when we wonder whether what we said in a seminar was idiotic (p. 4), or even when we check to see if anyone replied to our most recent Wall Post. Much like humor, anxiety is most definitely a relatable emotional experience that can sometimes bring out our darker sides. With this similarity however, we also see how both of these emotions occur during the moments when we genuinely feel most like ourselves. Since its conservative origins as a “serious” political newspaper, The Fed has maintained itself as a platform to share truly individual voices. You may not agree with what that voice sounds like (and sometimes, neither do we), but we are happy enough to know that there can be a space for authentic expression.
This will be my last issue as editor-in-chief of The Federalist Paper. I joined this organization four years ago not knowing that I was walking into one of the most immature, controversial, and tumultuous traditions on campus. While it can sometimes seem like what we do is a silly, university funded stunt, I hope that we at least have made people laugh, giggle, or chuckle in the process. During my time here, I have attempted to dissuade humor that is targeted against difference, instead, opting for a kind of campus humor culture that would ultimately unite. Not to sound cheesy, but I hope that when you pick up our rag, you at least take this time to sit back, choose an article, and simply laugh at yourself. Maybe that’s what meaning lies behind our logo--we are sometimes the best butt-end of our own jokes.
Elliott Grieco
The Fed editor-in-chief