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In This Issue

• Letter From the Editor
• They Watch
• Alcohol.edu Valedictorian Gets Schwasty
• Student Spots Celeb and Doesn’t Flip a Shit; Friends Doubt Her Sanity
• Columbia College First-Year Picks Worst Chair in Classroom
• Columbiascopes
• Class Clown’s Unexpectedly Well-Conceived Joke Falls Flat in LitHum Class
• Tweets of the Week
• Black Friday: A Nocturnal Dad In The AM
• The First Danksgiving Miracle
• Santa Claus is actually Jewish
• What Do You Think?
• “A Rugrats Chanukah” Cures Anti-Semitism
• The Yellow Term Paper
• #ivyleagueproblems
• If You Tweet in the Forest, Does it Make a Sound?
• New Elder Scrolls Game Released “For Nefarious Pro-Capitalist Agenda,” Crackpot Says
• Dance for me, Millie
• How to Increase the Utility of Your Bathroom When You're Shitfaced
• Adventures on DateMySchool.com
• Decoded
• Ask Mark
• Heart2Heart “Facebook Official”
• Reviews of Movies We Haven't Seen Yet: Jack and Jill
• “American Horror Story” is Actually Crazy
• “Dance Moms”: Small Girls, Big Hair

Jack and Jill, starring Adam Sandler, is a holiday comedy about love, family, and the American discomfort with with transgenderism. Sandler plays both Jack and Jill, who are twins.

Other stars in the film include Mrs. Tom Cruise’s Wife, Al Pacino, and cameos from Rob Schneider and Norm MacDonald (probably).

The film’s high points are when Jill gets her hands stuck inside of the Christmas ham, and when the two siblings are pressured by a spectating crowd to smooch for a kiss cam. Sandler kissing with himself? Classic.

A bunch of other stuff happens, then Jack learns the meaning of family after Jill fills in last-minute as Santa Clause in her nephew’s school play. I can surely say that this movie is better than 8 Crazy Nights. 

The Fed Score:

2 Adam Sandler Constipated Faces out of 5